[EDEN] Vodka and falafels

Day 933, 14:39 • Published in Israel Greece • by Greek Ministry of Health
We posted this article a bit late on purpose, to see if there was perhaps a hidden objective, a last minute roll of the dice that would connect the dots and change everything in our counterpart's strategy. Truth be told, I expected a bit more from our fellow enemies, I expected some sort of cohesion in their actions, some sort of endgame in their plans, but maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m the only one who can’t see what they’re really on about… Or is it all of you? You can’t see it either, right? Oh, I figured.

Vodka
It all started on a very hot summer day, when our most favorite president HankScorpio proposed this brilliantly formulated law, that made me think: “Hmmm, has the russian stock of vodka massively dropped today? Well, I figure prices will go up… Bleh, this Hank dude has a way in manipulating the markets… that scoundrel!”.

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From Russia with love

And then right when I thought things were going to calm down again - BAM! eCNN reports a crisis in vodka stocks all over the world. With this brand new law, the global vodka markets have taken a serious hit. It seems that the international stocks have suddenly vanished. “What on Earth is going to come next?” I asked myself fearing for the security of my secret vodka vault.

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Kalinka is out - hamsta' dance is in

And right in that very second, the emergency broadcast networks kicked in all over the world. It seemed that Ivan… Hanks had randomly thrown 3 darts on his map and started to press buttons accordingly: Inner Mongolia and the 525.282nd attempt to conquer it, Oulu, Finland (maybe he was aiming for Rhone Alps but lamentably missed) and Alaska, land of opportunity for… well for somebody. Is it just me, or are we about to watch the biggest Russian blunder (yes I know, I know - I should’ve said fail) in the history of bionicman?


Falafels
Furthermore we’d like to pop the champange for our great Israeli friends, who swiftly and without mercy have overthrown Turkish occupation. It is one of those symbolical moments in EDEN’s history when not only economical factors matter, not only the greater good sees the light of day, but the hardened bonds formed in war with our fellow allies prevails!

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Wiping Israel off the map? We don't think so.

Congratulations to each and every single one of you guys who joined forces in the liberation of Israel, and helped EDEN prove that we care for all of our allies no matter the costs, no matter the risks! We fight not only for what is profitable, not only for what is strategically important, but for what is right. Again we see Brolliance and EDEN stand side by side with our allies to protect our brothers, being there to help when the rough time comes. We were now, and we will always be!

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