AND THE WINNER OF 30,000 CC IS... [VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED]

Day 2,948, 07:35 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Hail Astrid

Yo!

A few days ago the eUK faced a challenge. A challenge never before encountered in her history. It threatened to change eLife on eEarth as we eKnew it. Some lived, some died, some ignored it, some didn't see it, some saw it but gave up, some were hospitalised for eye conditions for staring at the gif for too long, some were hospitalised for eye conditions for staring at Kanye for too long. As insurmountable as it appeared, a few brave citizens did take up the challenge.

I'm talking about this, of course.




Tfw when you get 25 comments and don't even have one of those Journalist missions open

I'd like to thank all who participated - if I weren't dedicating my life trying to find a happy ending to Emily Is Away, I'd probably personally message y'all with something like, "You done did good, fam." If you read it in Snoop Dogg's voice, it would almost be like Snoop Dogg was congratulating you in person, which is a life goal few people achieve. And you just achieved it (almost). You're (almost) welcome.



Anyway, while many people were srs bzns, observing the gif and commenting what they thought was the correct answer, some were not so...


Seriously, Sambo? You sat there and counted out infinity Kanye spins? 1 Kanye Spin, 2 Kanye Spins, 3 Kanye Spins... til you reached infinity Kanye Spins? Or you just took the easy way out and saw Kanye spinning around and thought, "Well, that looks to be about infinity Kanye spins" and went and commented infinty Kanye spins without any regard for human life? Or proper Kanye spin etiquette? Kanye spins I really like saying Kanye spins



Of course, there were more reasonable attempts:





Others attempted to use rational thinking to suss out the answer...





Whereas some preferred to use more, uh, creative methods of reasoning. And dodgy Internet.





There were those who seemed to doubt my ability to come up with the 30,000cc prize...


Don't you worry CC, it was gathered the traditional eUK way: by stealing from the government



Some tried to use technology to determine the answer, but were thwarted by laziness.


I believe that this was divine intervention by Yeezus himself - for the day science is used to determine the number of Kanye spins, science has gone too far.



There was one crafty individual who claimed it wasn't even Kanye...



Which is patently ridiculous. You'd recognise this face anywhere.


See?



However the most ridiculous answer has to go to our dictator, King Woldy:



for commenting who his favourite rapper was, instead of trying to guess the correct number of Kanye spins. There's a time and place for these sort of discussions, and that article wasn't one of them. Poor form.


"Seeing Woldy make that comment, it was like being shot 9 times again. G-UNIT" - 50 Cent, 2015



Anyway, enough of the wannabes. The true reason you came here is to find out the answer to one of life's burning questions, that is:

Did you leave the kettle on?

No seriously, I smell something burning

Aw sh*t my bad, I left my mixtape in the CD player

and

How many Kanye spins did Kanye spin in a gif of Kanye spinning?

The answer, my friends, is this:



Confused?

I was, too. I thought that no one would be able to provide the correct answer, so counter-intuitive as it was. I immediately sent off a pidgeon messenger (PM) to Addaway.



He ignored me, and I didn't know how he found out the answer JK as all members of Nifty have mind control implants installed in our C: drives prior to entry, we all know what each other think. Calm down, Sambo. Anyway, here is a simple explanation of why one is the answer.

Simply put, to fathom how many Kanye spins were spun, one cannot rely upon the naked eye, or even gif frame detection technology. One must peruse what Yeezus has bestowed upon us mortals during his fleeting time on Earth, and determine the true answer through the earliest form of meditation: blasting loud music through crappy Bluetooth speakers.



Not convinced? Check out the song's Wikipedia page.


Case closed.

But wait! I hear you cry in outrage. Didn't Allan Saltwater get the answer right, too?

Well, Allan Saltwater got the answer right, but the logic was wrong, so he gets half-marks, I guess.


soz m8



Here's the clincher - the whole competition was just external advertising for Kanye's new album, SWISH, which will become available at some point in the future!

You just got pranked bro!!
































































For those unfamiliar with urban vernacular:



Thank you for reading.


I can understand if you don't, though.