"Some bloke down the pub....

Day 1,350, 02:00 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Horice G Fossil
thought Horice was still in the running for Primeminster...what...errrr...really?"

"My apologies, yet another announcement from the campaign headquarters."

"It's true I'm still running"

My previous manifestos have received a somewhat lukewarm reception,

"Sir may I show you some of Horice's ideas on how to improve the eUK ?"

So I have spent the last few days honing my political skills

"Nothing sharpens the mind like a slap in the face with a pair of kippers !"

"I give you my five part plan on improving the eUK"

1/ Dealing with the 'EVIL' Keers.

"I plan,once I am elected, on banning the beard, for without it the 'EVIL' Keers would
be merely the 'slightly malevolent' Keers and thus no longer a threat to the eUK"

2/ Solvoing the Irish problem.

"Well that appears to cover that one"

3/ eUK population.

"If we got a few more people here it would no longer be a problem,
I can't understand why the Government has not already tried this ?"

4/ The French.

"The eUK have been at peace with the French for some time, I have remained
at war with them since 'French Toast' and once elected I plan on continuing !"

5/ eUK Religions.

"Bob Boblo (above) Is the one true Messiah, any one disagrees shall be taunted three time !"

"In other news"

Former Primeminster jamesw escaped visited the eUK to add his support

'I, for one, am voting Horice.' He was quickly recaptured then left again.

Germany signs MPP with the Irish !, their Ambassadors spokesman says,

"Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale, Englisher pigdogs !"

"Well I hope that makes everything clear."

My political philosophy, like color television, is all here in black and white.

"By 'peace' I mean 'war with the French' and by bashing 'two bricks together'
I mean PTOing the eUK for my own personal monetary gain, obviously"

Horice