[PENIS] Interview with scoba diver!

Day 2,903, 23:17 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Hail Astrid


Are you ready, kids?



I can't hear you!



Ohh...!!


Okay, now it's getting weird.

Welcome to Pay-Per-View Exclusive: Newbie Interviews!

Or PENIS, for short.

Heh, heh.

Here's the breakdown of the acronym:

Pay-per-view is a subtle plea for endorsements.
Exclusive because the interviewee is not very famous and thus has not been interviewed by anyone else.
Newbie because they're younger and/or less famous than me.
Interview for obvious reasons.
S - plural, because against all the odds, here's another one!



Today, we have the pleasure of a chat with scoba diver!



Now you already know scoba diver is r8 kewl and even participated in the rap diss that ended BDP's career. I know you want sum mo o' dat hot fiya, so I present you this interview in which I ask some really, really, really random and silly questions.


Scoba's probable reaction upon seeing the questions
also lmao @ chelsea



Hello! 🙂 Can I interview you?

Hey!! Of course🙂



Okay! 🙂

As your name is scoba diver, I feel I must ask the obvious question:

Do you skateboard?



Haha I do not! I tried to once and held on to my friends shoulders the whole time



Well, I don't either!

What led you to join the "gateway to crippling gambling addiction", also known as the game eRepublik?


This ain't no Club Penguin son

I gave into pressure to join from a friend. He was like "join the game" and I said "ugh okay".



I see that your avatar is an intriguing picture of a cat in some sort of diving apparatus. Please explain further!

Note: Avatar has since been changed, probably because some idiot mentioned that it looks like scoba was roleplaying as a cat.



I managed to find it by Googling "cat in scuba gear underwater". It look less happy than I remember it, though. I tried to Google "pussy in scuba gear underwater" for better results, and arguably they were.

Also, I can't help but point out: Isn't it "scuba" diving?! 😒

I searched scuba diving into google because I was told I needed a cool avatar and the cat is the one I chose!
Tis scuba diving but scoba diver was a nickname given to me!🙂



Damn, I thought you were gonna be roleplaying as a cat 😛 Quite a few people seem to do that around here.

Note: Yup I'm that idiot

Anyway, do you have any goals in this game? If so, what are they? 🙂

Right now, I'm just hoping to get to know the people and maybe do some politics!!



Sounds like a good plan! 🙂 What are your impressions of the game so far?

I'm actually really loving it! I didn't think I would haha



Well you're definitely taking the right steps in publishing your first article! What more can we expect from "The Deep Sea Diver"?

Also, do you scuba dive in RL? And can you rap?

The Deep Sea Diver's just gonna be where I brag about ESO and how it's so great🙂
I don't scuba dive irl, my avatar and name doesn't relate to anything I do actually haha
I'm quite the rapper, I must say 😉




Oh for real?! Did you know that the eUK spontaneously erupts in rap battles from time to time? You should totes join in, homie.


Picture😛 How OG rap battles begin

What sort of music do you like then?

And what is your opinion on Taylor Swift, specifically? Is she a drone used by corporations to control the masses, an okayish singer, or a goddess fit to be worshipped (as believed by certain members of the eUK)?


Picture😛 drone malfunctioning

Well I'm no iggy but I'll try hahaha
Not sure of a specific genre but I'm listening to a lot of The Front Bottoms right now, Swim Deep, Vampire Weekend, Jamie T and others alike 🙂
If I say anything bad about Taylor Swift my friend will hunt me down with her cats...



Yup, Taylor Swift does seem to inspire rabid levels of loyalty among her fans. 😛

If you were an eRepublik developer, what is one feature that you would add to the game?

and

I strongly believe that ESO should be renamed "Everybody Steals Oreos". Do you agree?

And more importantly, do you steal Oreos?

If so, do you do it professionally or merely as a hobby?

Anything that would make it even more cool
yES YES YES It should be called that!! It's hard not to steal Oreos, they're there yknow.... You're gonna steal them.



Indeed, Oreos are hard to resist. Do you follow the twist, lick, and dunk instructions, or do you consume Oreos in other fashions, like a true anarchist?

Also, can you dunk a basketball in real life?


Because I can

And - if you could take over the account of any player in eRepublik, who would you choose?

It tastes so much better if you don't twist, lick and dunk!
Gotta practice actually getting the ball through the hoop before I can dunk haha
Frixios of the Clyde. No doubt about it 😉



Totally agreed. In fact, I'm pretty sure no one even twist, licks and dunks. It's ridiculous!


No one except Elvis, apparently

Is there anything the eUK should be warned of about you?

And - why should people add scoba diver as a friend?

NOTE: Cue ten day pause while scoba was busy saving the world with one punch, as seen below.


Picture😛 scoba diver (probably not bald tho)

Soz for nt replying soon homie,

eUk should be warned that I am yet another Scot.

People shouldn't add me as a friend.

when will this be published? Cos, yknow i want to be published

It will be published... NOW.



BONUS MORTY!