Zanalan Found Dead!
Trenton Rendell
Ottawa-
The Country Is Shocked.
The body of former Prime Minister Zanalan (86) was found in his Ottawa residence this evening, This comes after losing Infinity to nothing to Augustus Baldwin in the CSD elections this morning.
Police Chief Eric Marchand of the Ontario Provincial Police told The Canuck “He was found in his bath robe lying in a pool of alcohol and disgrace
When asked if Prime Minister Zanalan was murdered the Chief responded “Anything is possible at this point, Though we are pointing towards suicide'
When the news of Prime Minister Zanalan's death reached newly elected Party leader Augustus Baldwin he told The Canuck
'What terrible news, I should have taken his bathrobe off... err.. I mean um...
what a tremendous loss to eCanada.
Prime Minister Zanalan who spent two terms in office was most famous for creating the Cracker Act in which every citizen would receive one Cracker. He is survived by his wife Elenor, his seven children, and his goldfish Rusty.
Details to follow in the later days
Trenton Rendell reporting for The Canuck .
Comments
A pool of alcohol and disgrace.
Poetic, lol
I just checked Zanalan's health and it's at 82.66. I think you either need to get your facts straight or I need to factor in the alcohol as a pickling agent.
or... it was MURDER!
Zanalan is dead.... again?
Yeah, I remember he died a while ago. I think i won an award for reporting it.
NO your article Augustus was on how Zan is not real.
Isn't it great. Dead and I can still beat Augustus by over 50 votes. Just think what the margin will be now that I have been reincarnated!
😮 HE HAS RISEN!
Well written LMAO.
Alcohol and disgrace!
Lordy lordy Zanalan has risen to save us from eternal damnation (read Augustus Baldwin)!
Smite AB oh mighty Zanalan, for you are eCanada's messiah