I can haz PTOUS, and Ajay Bruno can into White House!
DMV3
My Cabinet:
Vice President: Ajay Bruno: There is not a person alive I trust more than Ajay, he is a fine and loyal American who I will one day be happy to call Mr. President.
Chief of Staff: Syrup: I can think of no one I'd rather have running the White House than this man. He is hard working, competent, and wise. After seeing the wonderful job he did running elections for the APF, I knew he was the man I wanted for this job.
Secretary of Phoenix Affairs (formerly Secretary of State): Max McFarland 2: After seeing the wonderful job he did during the Woxan administration, I believe there is no one I'd rather handling eUS foreign affairs than Max. With him at the helm we'll have no worries in the State Department, there will be no wars, great prosperity, and most importantly no international incidents tarnishing the reputation of our fine country.
Secretary of Bankruptcy (formerly Secretary of Treasury): ThisGenMedia a.k.a Franco: He is above reproach, a prudent leader, and financial wiz; who lead us to economic prosperity with his wise financial advice and investment strategy.
Secretary of Interior: Zoli: I picked Zoli because I can think of no one I'd trust to leave alone with my babies more than I trust him, and with him in charge I'm pretty sure we'll finally get that baby boom for which we've been waiting for. While the new babies will most certainly have an accent, they should be assimilated into our culture just fine.
Secretary of Trolling (formerly Secretary of Defense): Emerick's Corpse. With Emerick's Corpse in charge of defense I am sure there will be no shortage of enemies waiting to wipe us off the map, but with his amazing tanking skills I'm sure we'll be safe.
Secretary of Making Sammiches: rainysunday: this position is pretty self-explanatory, and I can think of nothing else women are good for except........
Secretary of Getting Horny Men to Vote for Me: Claire Littleton: Claire has quite the collection of pictures with which to seduce men who are unaware of the fact "There are no wimminz on the interwebz" into vote for me.
Congressional Liason: NXNW: Seeing how this fine man dealt with the TC funding disaster is why I ran for Congress. It is because of this incident I can think of no one else I'd rather having dealing with Congress on behalf of the Executive Branch; his charisma, finesse, and fine temperment would be reason enough to appoint him to this position, but it is his love for the fine folks in Congress and their love for him that lead me to ask him to accept this position.
Why you should vote for me: As if this amazing cabinet were not enough reason to vote for me , I have decide to tell you why I am the man you want for this job. Two words:Free Cookies! That's right my opponents will attempt to wow you with things like accomplishments, fancy titles, and platform, but I know you're smart enough to see passed their substance and vote for me because I'm willing to bribe you.
Thank You
Dennis McVicker
The only real candidate for PTOUS
Comments
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VOTED THE F OUT IT
Ok........I approve
You got my vote - LOL
I lol'ed.
What a ticket!!
cookies
\o
Best cabinet ever you have my vote
your sammich is ready
PB&J with crust, raspberry, creamy pb as ordered.
You want whole or 2% milk with that?
Sounds good to me. ^_~
rainy I prefer soy milk!
Funny. Voted.
You have a lot of nerve restricting a fine man like Ajay to the mere position of VICE president. Why don't you two switch roles? If there's anybody to lead us to victory (for Phoenix at least), it would be Ajay.
Dennis McVicker would like to apply for the position of CP.
I'd let Zoli have mai babies.
Ian Erickson: Hells MFing YES!
meh could be moar conservative
You had me at "free cookies."
freaking hilarious.
Gold.
nice article voted
OMG! this is a joke right? pleaze tell me this was garbage!
😮
Awesome article
epic lulz
i'm gessho, and i endorse this platform. it's like a dream team.
Things sure would get interesting. XD
You, Mr. Vicker, are the grand winner of five internetz.
My babies speak Hungarian - McVicker/Bruno for POTUS!
Bribes my only weakness
We need more articles like this!
I might, but you need to spell your acronyms correctly... it's POTUS
mercy vote, lol
best parody piece in months.
boy, if they can't take a fu*k, joke 'em.
these better be good cookies
Ritter Jager, no it's PTO US!
Voted, and will vote more on the 5th
best. cabinet. ever.
Quality.
I support this fella.
lol cookie monstor
please tell me this is a lulz run.
you guys must be smoking somethin' GOOD over there.
... and all WE got in the UNL is the LSD party. 😉
voted
Who would lulz about an amazing cabinet like this?
You cannot into PTOUS. Well, maybe with free cookies you could.
Brilliant.
YES!
I would enjoy Dennis being PTOUS
lol