[USCMU] I Am The Law: Derphoof is New God
Derphoof
The Peace of Dio be upon you, brothers and sisters. For today, a great future has been destined unto us from the mighty one who created the sands. He has blessed us thus far with unrelenting stability and the bounteous gain of 10/10/10 resources within our borders. However, Dio has greater plans for we, his faithful people.
Yesterday, your representatives in Congress voted in approval to change how our Military Dictatorship works. Previously, the USAF was the MU used for dictatorship. However, this is no longer the case. The text of the law has been changed as follows:
“The current sitting President (at the time of the passing of this bill) shall, using the United States Civilian Military Unit, launch a so-called "Military coup" from the Capitol State of Colorado, and
The 200,000 cost of launching this coup be supplied to United States Civilian Military Unit from the Congressional Budget Office, and
Any future Country President who has been elected will, following protocol to be codified by this congress, be given the CO position of United States Civilian Unit thereby establishing him as the new ingame "Dictator"”
However, upon examination of the MU’s in our nation, I realized there is no “United States Civilian Military Unit.” There is only the “eUS Civilian Unit.”
Therefore, on this day, March 26 2016, I have changed the name of my MU, “The Broforce,” to “United States Civilian Military Unit.” This makes my MU the new vehicle for the democratic dictatorship.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
The law states that the CP be given the title of CO for the “United States Civilian Unit.” However, this is not the name of my MU, so I don’t need to give it to him.
This makes me the CO of the dictatorial military unit, and the de facto dictator of our nation.
You may remember The Broforce from our Revolutionary escapades back in March of 2015. We are proud to say that our long-term strategic play of doing absolutely nothing has paid off for us once again.
Once, the Broletariat were an oppressed class, seething with anger underneath the iron rod of the bourgeoisie elite of our nation. Now, the Broletariat rises to become the Broligarchs, seizing the means of production from the powerful PFEIFFERIST ELITES.
Blessed by the grace of Dio (sand be upon him), we are rising to new heights and powers unforeseen in the history of man.
As dictator, I hereby declare a Dioist Caliphate and shall embark on an endeavor to use this nation as a vehicle to create a global caliphate, whose reach shall span the ends of the Earth.
We shall do this by spreading the Dioist values of friendship, peace, and tolerance amongst the nations of the world. The greatest of these values is peace. However, this does not mean that we will be a peaceful nation which seeks no conflict. For it is said in the Book of Dio:
“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it's the absence of inner conflict.“
We shall spread the Book of Dio to hostile nations and assimilate them into our Dioist nation, inviting them to share in his love. Pax Pakistani shall spread across the land, in an attempt to bring peace to all the world. For inside our borders, there shall be no clash of ideologies. There shall be no strife. There shall only be peace, love, and tolerance.
Furthermore, in a continuation of the Rainy Revolution, she shall be granted complete control over our taxation policies. She will use a random number generator to select a number between 1 and 25. That number shall be our tax rate for the next day.
Based on prior actions in which he showed steadfast leadership, Aramec will be named as our Permanent Secretary of Citizenship Approvals and SCI staffing.
Saraht0ga will be named Secretary of Citizen Activity and Retention.
Rainy Sunday is our new High Priestess of Dio, our new Virgin Vestal.
Tenshibo is our eternal Secretary of Swag.
Paul Proteus is to be declared Dictabro, the right hand of the Caliph.
Pfeiffer and Oblige are now to be named Co-COs of the USAF, which will be renamed “Butthurt INC.”
We love Dio with all our being, and I encourage each of you to find him, and spread his love throughout the Earth. Only through love can peace be established.
Join us, as we establish worldwide Dioism.
I believe in you, without realizing.
I believe in rain, though there are no clouds in the sky.
I believe in truth, even though people lie.
I believe in peace, though sometimes I am violent.
I believe in Dio Brando, even though he is silent.”
Book of Dio, Chapter 11
Comments
GLORY TO BROFORCE
GLORY TO RAINY
GLORY TO DIO
[removed]
GLORY TO BROFORCE
GLORY TO RAINY
GLORY TO DIO
topkek
I believe in the sun, even though it is slow in rising.
I believe in you, without realizing.
I believe in rain, though there are no clouds in the sky.
I believe in truth, even though people lie.
I believe in peace, though sometimes I am violent.
I believe in rainy sunday, even though she is silent.
;___;
GLORY TO BROFORCE
GLORY TO RAINY
GLORY TO DIO
Well played.
oh my
Never forget who christened you derphoof
oh fuck, a wild shoi appeared
God I hate you.
THERE IS NO GOD BUT DIO BRANDO AND FALCON IS HIS PROPHET!
Never have I been prouder than today of literally being a tool in Rainy's employ.
Noooooo!!! This everything our democracy should be against!
Make me Secretary of the Treasury, and I'll help ensure your prospects are orderly though.
Au contraire:
No God. No State. No Caliphate.
Ah, a minority position. Respectable, but worthless in the eyes of the Broligarchy.
Neither King nor Kaiser. Sisters are doing it for themselves. We want Willkie. Diosism: Our Bridge to the 11th Century.
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Who's Dio?
dont ask next they will invite you to some furry party and you will witness a furrypile . if you dont want the children of your mother to be some panda costume wearing nut cease this line of questioning.
haha sounds interesting 😛
Who hurt you?
hurt the krakken the krakken can control all elements including his own flesh. one is not able to hurt the krakken mortal. now go huddle at your fireplace and fear him that lurks in the sea.
Bruh? You wanna bang? I've got several different furry outfits. Just tell me what you prefer, bby. Most people like the fox 😉
[grabs derphoof by his tail starts spinning faster and faster soon the air resistance on derphoof begins to pluck pluck at his skin as he slowly disentegrates he realizes the mistake of trading jokes with krakken..but alas its too late]
[removed]
An anime character in "JoJo's bizarre adventure." It was either worship him or worship Ponygon on "Zatch Bell," which Krakken had been pushing. Hence his hatred of Dio Brando.
http://www.youtube.com/v/vAkXPpBnSkM?start=283&end=320&version=3
Anyway Dio and Dio'ism was created by Viktor kurgan not Dio. he handed it to Dio who misunderstood his teachings to such an extent that viktor kurgan gave up on Dio'ism and pursued other teachings.
He was the one to understand The Silence in it is fullest meaning and teach us of the days of Silence.
The entire Dio creation myth was penned by him not Dio.
So there....
I hope this happens.
Where do I sign up?