GOD EMPEROR DIO BRANDO DIO BRANDO GOD EMPEROR

Day 4,563, 05:12 • Published in USA Chile • by Wilker Nath
The Great Family of Dio will be reunited in the Marvelous Beyond after our eLives come to an end! Praise be!


I recently learned of an executive order by the Bubblar administration officially ending the state-sanctioned repression of the One True Religion! Paise Dio! And eternal damnation to the heathen Gnilraps for attempting to end our glorious reign! Fool, our glory and power can never be extinguished!



I’m here today to educate and convert some of the not-yet-believers to the True Way, as well as counter some of the heretical beliefs eschewed by the misled moderate followers of the Dioist sect.

First, a word to the not-yet-believers.

Dioism is the one true religion. Really, it is. Try it, you’ll like it. It is impossible not to like it. Bask in its glory and see!



Dioists are the ones aware of the Truth that the wWorld and everything in it was created from Holy Sand by Dio Brando himself! We are all his beautiful creations! If you think the world was created by the false idol plato, if you think that such a feat is even possibly by one who couldn’t even manage a token market, you obviously need to re-eveluate your beliefs and see the Truth. I am simply here to make the Truth known by those who are too young to have yet been educated in it.



Now there are some among my Glorious belief system who would spout heresy and atheist apologeticism. They would tell you that the world was not literally made by Dio. The eWorld is not literally made from sand. Some would even go as far in this constructed narrative as to say that the entire eWould is merely a simulation, created by an advanced alien species that developed the prerequisite technology after a millions-of-years-long process of “evolution” and “natural selection”. These are lies! Not to mention that theory is a huge stretch! Just the suggestion sounds ridiculous! And the merciful Dio gives you plentiful opportunity to repent and once again follow the True Way!



Because these heretics are stuck in their ways, and their minds ruled by logic rather than Faith, they require an explanation for why their theories are wrong. Very well. Dio provides.



Theoretical Electromechanical Engineering researchers at the esteemed Denver Dioist University have been seeking solutions to exactly the topic on which you doubt the Great God Emperor. They have been doing research on the Sands of Pakistan, the Holy Sand from which the eWorld was pulled into existence. And do you know what they found? Metals. Tiny fragments of various metallic elements. Aluminum, Silicon, Copper, etc. Exactly the metals which would be needed to construct the basic building blocks of the eWorld.



After painstaking experimentation by head researchers on this case, it has been revealed that with generous amounts of hot glue and solder, a server hardware setup with performance similar to that of plato’s CAN BE functionally jury-rigged!



So with that information in mind, may the fickle heretics never again doubt the Power of our God Emperor!

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