[ESO] Introducing Dogfarts

Day 2,218, 23:59 • Published in United Kingdom France • by Hell The Great


Greetings ladies, gentlemen's and Diakuns. I'm writing today firstly with untold excitement. For those outside of ESO, you may not be aware of Nicka-dogfarts-lollyoff. Basically he's the guy who posts 'dogfarts' in the ESO feed, and regularly did so in the legion feed. He also candidates for Party President every month, and has done since he started the game and joined ESO.

He is to me, the perfect example of someone who stuck around, but didn't really get involved, and mainly just played eRep for a laugh. UNTIL people started voting for him. Over the past 6 months, his vote has steadily increased, month on month, to the point where he nearly won last month, and absolutely trounced it this month. To show the world what a cool guy he is, I thought I'd do a little interview so you can see the man behind the dogfarts, here you go:

1. You are infamous within ESO, but outside of our feeds and messages you do not have a huge presence. Can you tell the rest of the UK, just what is your role within ESO?
1. I never realised that I was considered infamous! My general role within ESO is to be a big, dumb man-dog hybrid who talks about dog farts way too much. I've just spent a full two minutes trying to expand on that answer, but seriously, that's it. WHY DID YOU PEOPLE VOTE FOR ME.

2. Prior to actually winning this months elections, how many times have you run for PP?
2. I have run for Party President approximately 17,000 times. Well, in actuality I've been running every month for over a year now. I originally started because the idea of a single person voting for me seemed hilarious, but when I magically started gaining traction it seemed obvious that I should carry on and see what would happen.

3. You decided against stating your plans for the month, but still managed to win anyway. Why do you think that is?
3. I have no idea why I won and the fact that I did is terrifying. I figure that I'm either a protest vote, or people are genuinely curious to see what happens when you elect a guy who spams the phrase "Dog Farts" as party president.

4. What are your plans for this month? Will there be any big surprises in store?
4. I literally had no plans up until about 2 hours ago, as naturally I never thought I would win. Then again, if I'm going to do this job I may as well try to make some sort of mark on it. Ideally I would like to see us climb up to about 3rd place, try to maintain a bit of self-reliance away from other parties and generally establish a good foundation for someone who actually knows what they are doing. I plan on offering snazzy new trousers to any new member who offers a lifetime of loyalty and humiliating, sexy servitude.

5. Finally, who do you want to see on that politics page, next month?
5. More dog farts, please.

P.S. Woof.



Scintillating stuff, I'm sure you'll all agree. For those who are new to the ways of Educating Someone's Offspring, Every Single Orgasm, Every Single Omelette, or strength through lubrication, I hope this brief introduction to Dogfarts has shown you a little of our community. In a wor😛 insane.

For those who are involved in ESO, I point your attention firstly to our feed; welcome in our month of dogfarts. For those (and I admit, we are but a few!) who have the time or patience to put effort into running or helping ESO, Nick has started off this month with a refreshing, if not controversial method. Actually using the eUK forums. You can check out his plans and aims for this month by going to our private forums here.


Otherwise, have a lovely day, and enjoy my sooty orifices.
~jw


PS: I forgot to mention, Nick's celebratory article can be found here