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Hello and welcome to another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.

Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Scotywest. As soon as known Stewstoyc, Scoty is a highly decorated eAustralian in terms of politics and military. He has been a Minister of Defence, Minister of Industry 3 times, Deputy Prime Minister twice and even scored position ePrime Minister of eAustralia. He’s been an ACUK Marshal, a Dropbear Squad Leader and as been a multiple hero in many battles.

Unforuntely, I am sad to report that shortly after this interview Scotywest as gone missing. Where he is remains a mystery but there has been nasty rumours that he no longer is with us. Some say he was brutally killed in a slow and painful way where he was cut up into pieces while he was alive. Some say he got into trouble with criminal organizations, which there is evidence of in this interview, so he has gone into protective custody thanks to our ePrime Minister, Cottus Arci.

Whatever the situation, I would like to dedicate this special interview to the memory of everyone’s favourite Australian – Steve Irwin. In what could have been his final interview, join Scotywest for some dinner and a discussion with me, Dartreal.



Tonight’s guest: Scotywest.
Tonight’s meal: A bucket of chicken from KFC.
Tonight’s tune: Beethoven’s 7th Symphony.

Dartreal: Scoty, thanks for joining me for dinner and a discussion.

Scotywest: Glad to be here.

Dartreal: How is your chicken from KFC?

Scotywest: Good, but I want more!

Dartreal: KFC is just a few minutes from my place I'll have the butler get some more for us.

Scotywest: Sweet, thanks.

Dartreal: Where do we begin with you? You're a man of many trades. You've done just about everything here in eAustralia. What else is there for Scoty to achieve in this eCountry?

Scotywest: Well.... ummm haven't done eSex yet! Haha!

Dartreal: A man like yourself with an impressive resume surely wouldn't have any problems picking up the eLadies, would he?

Scotywest: Ahhhh well you see eLadies don't like men that are missing there wood. Admin's will give me my wood one day though!

Dartreal: Perhaps you should get some advice from Corey Blake - Casanova of eAustralia. I'm sure he can teach you a few "tricks of the trade".

Scotywest: But can Corey Blake find my wood? That is the question!

Dartreal: Maybe a change of topic is at hand. You had to change your name to Stewstoyc. I've heard a rumour that you were being hunted down by the eMafia - is this true?

Scotywest: Yes, they didn't like my style I guess.

Dartreal: Do you think it's smart of you drawing attention to yourself by having served a term as ePM of eAustralia?

Scotywest: My mission when I became ePrime Minister was to get rid of all them eMafia's, but I guess that failed…

Dartreal: What if I told you that this entire thing, this interview, was just a set up and I've got some members of the eMafia waiting in the living room?

Scotywest: Ahhh but that's why I cam prepared.

*Scotywest pulls out a Q5 gun!*

Dartreal: I kid! I kid! Hahaha! Just you point that thing away please? I'm a bit nervous when I see a man wave his gun around like that.

Scotywest: Sorry, I'm very edgy these days.



Dartreal: That's understandable. So tell me, how did you come up with the name “Stewstoyc”?

Scotywest: Well you see I wanted a name that had the letters "Scotywest" in it, with much though, hardly any, I came up with Stewstoyc.

Dartreal: Let's talk about your politic career. You were one time ePrime Minister and 2 times Deputy ePrime Minister. Now, Deputy ePrime Minister is like being 1/2 the ePrime Minister . Does that mean, since you were a Deputy ePrime Minister twice, you really served two ePrime Minister terms instead of one?

Scotywest: Pretty much, and I was asked to be Deputy ePrime Minister once again, by my opposition Mel. So if I lost I would have served Deputy ePrime Minister for 3 whole terms!

Dartreal: That means you would have been ePrime Minister two and a half times!

Scotywest: Haha! Yep that would have been fun!

Dartreal: Very interesting. Question: If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

Scotywest: Because that’s what Super men do!

Dartreal: Would you wear your underpants on the outside if you were a superhero?

Scotywest: I would wear them on my head.

Dartreal: What would you call yourself?

Scotywest: SuperUnderwearonHeadman

Dartreal: No Super Scoty?

Scotywest: No that’s a boring name.

Dartreal: And not very smart if you don't want your Arch-Nemesis finding out your real identity. Ah wonderful, more chicken from KFC has arrived. Care for more?

Scotywest: Yes please! Must have chicken!



Dartreal: Let’s go back to politics for a second. Being someone who was the ePrime Minister and being someone who held many positions in the government, you must be a smart man. Question: If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down?

*Scotywest faints from too much thinking*.

Dartreal: Oh well, looks like I'm going to have to get this chicken to some needy children...

*Scotywest wakes up to the word “chicken”.*

Scotywest: Sorry what were we talking about again?

Dartreal: Mirrors, if they can reverse things left and right why can't do reverse things up and down?

Scotywest: I think that question is for Google to answer or Wikianswers, which ever way you swing

Dartreal: Maybe you'd like to answer a more simple question: When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Scotywest: Coon!

Dartreal: Oh boy I can already see some outrageous complaints being made right now. Please, explain what you mean by "coon" because we “true” eAustralians are probably the only who get the reference.

Scotywest: Coon Cheese.


Dartreal: Lovely. That should save both of us a visit from an angry eMob! Let's talk war! Everyone loves a good blood and guts story. You're a decorated war veteran you must know of some exciting stories, perhaps of a time you were outnumbered by enemy troops?

Scotywest: Oh well probably my greatest war memory was the first battle of the eIndia vs. eIran war. I set off too help a small country like eAustralia, battle a bully country eIran. I hit the battle field with 3000 eIran warriors against me. I fought till I became a Hero for eIndia! All up eAustralia killed 18,000 eIranian warriors with myself destroying 10,000 of them, thus starting a eIran-eAustralian hate pact.

Dartreal: Yes eAustralia knows about that little incident. To think eIran were trying to rub it in our face that you killed 10,000 men. You deserve a medal of honor! No, more fried chicken!

Scotywest: But I like my chicken!

Dartreal: I didn't say "No more fried chicken" I said "No”, as in don’t give you a medal, “more”, as in give you more, “fried chicken!"

Scotywest: Oh I see! Haha!

Dartreal: I shall shower you in fried chicken sir! Speaking of chicken: What do you think chickens think we taste like?

Scotywest: Kangaroo

Dartreal: How racist of them!

Scotywest: I know.



Dartreal: Well we're getting to the end of the night. I'll let you take the rest of the fried chicken home but first, fancy a little Word Association?

Scotywest: Ahhh, yeah ok.

Dartreal: I say a word and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Here we go. Chocolate.
Scotywest: Sauce.

Dartreal: Kitchen Table.
Scotywest: Sex.

Dartreal: Hulk Hogan.
Scotywest: Fat .

Dartreal: 300.
Scotywest: War!

Dartreal: Whoopi Goldberg on heat.
Scotywest: Gay.

Dartreal: Scotywest.
Scotywest: Sexy beast.

Dartreal: Stewstoyc.
Scotywest: Rich man.

Dartreal: And finally, Dartreal.
Scotywest: Awesome, funny looking guy.

Dartreal: You're too kind good sir. Well it was an honour having you as a guest of mine. Take care of yourself and remember to take home some chicken!

Scotywest: Thanks for the fun!

Scotywest: a decorated politician, a decorated military hero and a man who really, REALLY, loves his fried chicken. He’s the first person to reject food cooked by the hands of my skilled chefs. Though an insult to them, who are they to complain to this outstanding eAustralian? Thank you Scotywest for everything you’ve done and wherever you are, may there be plenty of fried chicken for you. Join me next time for another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until then I’m Dartreal - dine fine eAustralia.