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Hello and welcome to another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.

Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Ezekiel Thomas. Ezekiel has done many things in eAustralia. He’s been a Minister of Defense and a Minister of Immigration, Migration and Customs. His military career sticks out more than his poltical career however, having served in the Dropbears in its early forms. He left eAustralia for a little while and signed up with the eUS Airbourne. He’s been back in eAustralia for a while though and is doing whatever he can to help eAustralia become a major player in the eWorld. It’s time for a bit of dinner and a bit of discussion so please, won’t you join us eAustralia?



Tonight’s guest: Ezekiel Thomas.
Tonight’s meal: Porterhouse Steak with Hollandaise sauce served with mashed potatoes and broccoli. To drink a Rum and Coke would be delightful.
Tonight’s tune: Bach’s “Singet dem Herrn ein neues Lied”.

Dartreal: Ezekiel, thanks for joining me for dinner and a discussion.

Ezekiel Thomas: Not a problem great to be here.

Dartreal: How are you enjoying dinner?

Ezekiel Thomas: The steak is magnificent, the hollandaise sauce is immaculate, the veggies are done perfectly and the rum and coke is quite refreshing.

Dartreal: I'm glad to see that everything is to your liking. You've achieved a decent amount of things here in eAustralia including being a member of the ePrime Minister's cabinet a few times. Tell me: If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

Ezekiel Thomas: eBrazilian Babies. Opps I mean Little eIndonesian Babies, my mistake.

Dartreal: For those wondering, why are you looking eBrazil "Little eIndo"?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well I have taken the liberty of renaming them little eIndo as they have had an influx of eIndonesians move there and gain citizenship and have clearly done this as a way to get around the NAP.

Dartreal: It's been a touchy subject regarding the NAP between eAustralia and eIndonesia. eIndo feels we backstabbed them when Cozza announced his intention of going after their two regions in eSouth Africa, which weren't listed on the NAP as they aren't "original regions". Question: If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Ezekiel Thomas: Naked, or dead, I don't think they can't have a shell. But yeah I’d say naked.

Dartreal: Many months ago you were part of the Dropbears but left and joined up with the eUS Airbourne. You've recently gone back to the Dropbears. Why did you leave the Dropbears and sign up with the eUS Airbourne?

Ezekiel Thomas: I was upset over the lack of funding for the military and I wanted to go somewhere that I would get the funding I deserved. And it’s no secret I am pro EDEN so USA fit as its English speaking.

Dartreal: Why did you then leave the eUS Airbourne and come back to the Dropbears recently?

Ezekiel Thomas: I went on a personal hiatus for two weeks and was discharged from the Airbourne. So I came back and kinda did my own thing, ran some companies, tried to make Cozlam big. Then eIndonesia the Sequel decided to attack us. I felt my massive 250+ damage with some high quality weapons could be used for eAustralia’s defense.

Dartreal: How interesting. Speaking of interesting, did you know humans are born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206?

Ezekiel Thomas: Really? Some fuse together? I know the skull does.

Dartreal: Where do you think those missing bones go?

Ezekiel Thomas: Um… they walk away?



Dartreal: Do you think while we sleep little people invade our bodies and steal the bones without us knowing?

Ezekiel Thomas: I sure hope not but that is a viable hypothesis.

Dartreal: If someone was stealing our bones, would you want them back? If you got them back, what would you do with them?

Ezekiel Thomas: It depends if they needed them more than me, if they did then of course I’d want them back, because knowing that they need them would be awesome. If I did get them back I suppose I’d either make a sculpture with them, or put them back where they came from.

Dartreal: I think I would do the same. Let's talk eSouth Africa. Not many people might know this, but you funded one of their Resistance wars correct?

Ezekiel Thomas: Correct but I didn’t do it for them.

Dartreal: Why did you do it?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well a lot of people may not know this, in fact only about 5 will as it was the battle plan I came up with. Basically it was meant to either stop the war from happening or buy us time. So the plan went like this: a half hour before the war declaration was declared I would begin a resistance war in the KZN region, the region that borders eAustralia. That way it would draw some fire from an attack that would eventually come after the war declaration but this is the genius part we then got eSpain to block as well. They started another resistance up and attacked a region, which opened three fronts for eBrazil to have to fight. We got Srg91 to start another resistance in another eSA region and that created 4 fronts, way too many for a nation to handle. They needed to figure out what they were going to do, basically because they declared war first, they gained initiative, but by doing this it gave us the first fight and our first fight was to buy time.

Dartreal: So why didn't the plan work?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well in my eyes it did. It bought us time. Time to get more organized unfortunately little eIndo regained initiative once the battles had been closed so that’s all it got us. Ideally we wanted it to waste the 24 hours then we could attack KZN and have the first fight.

Dartreal: At least you tried and you've got that to be proud of.

Ezekiel Thomas: Exactly, I went and spent 85 gold sold all my companies except one, and I can say I tried to stop the war before it started.

Dartreal: What do you have to say to people who think you wasted all of that gold for nothing?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well until just now the plan wasn't made public, so I just said its my gold I do what I want.

Dartreal: Would you want to help eSouth Africa with actual resistance wars now considering many people think they let eIndo Junior through?

Ezekiel Thomas: The truth is yes. I would help eSA get all their regions back. No country should have to be occupied by a foreign nation, not even one that let someone through to attack an ally. But I will note that I would question their ties, and probably not be an ally anymore.

Dartreal: It's good that the way you think is to ensure a country as a whole isn't going to suffer through the actions of one person. If you could domesticate any wild animal successfully, what would it be?

Ezekiel Thomas: Wow, that’s a tougher question than I would have originally thought.! I think I’d go a Great White Shark so we could team up and be treasure hunters in eJamaica.

Dartreal: If you could be any animal, what would it be?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well when I was younger I would have said a Dalmatian, but now a days id say probably a Doberman as they are badass looking dogs. I think I might get one.

Dartreal: It looks like the Rum and Coke has gone to your head a little too much. I said what would you BE not what dog will you buy?

Ezekiel Thomas: Hahaha! I meant I’d be a Doberman and then I think ill buy one.



Dartreal: I would like to ask you about your attempt at running for ePrime Minister. It was a good campaign and plan you put forward but in the end, Cottus Arci won the battle between the two of you and Timeoin. What are your thoughts about the election?

Dartreal: It was a hard fought election and I am as pleased with my result as I can be, I am now the highest polling ANP PM candidate so that is a bonus. I'm gunna take a much needed break from anything too active and just enjoy the eWorld. But you can expect to see my name up there soon. Overall it was a great election. I look forward to the next. Here's a hint, Vote ANP! Haha.

Dartreal: Let's talk about something that you established in eAustralia: Cozlam. Please explain to people who don't know what this heathen religion is.

Ezekiel Thomas: Well Cozlam is a eReligion that believes that Cozza Akbar is our true saviour and creator of everything in our world. It all started about three months ago. I was sleeping and was awoken by a man I had seen around eAustralia a couple times. We had gotten along pretty well so he said he needed to tell me something. So I said sure what is it and he went on about how he was the one who had created our world and told me of all the wondrous things he had done. And I then started having visions so I started to write these down in The Book of Cozlam. And I now realize that Cozlam’s purpose is to guide people in the being righteous.

Dartreal: It sounds like whoever you met must have given you a heavy dose of LSD.

Ezekiel Thomas: I don’t think so, but then again…

Dartreal: It sounds to me that this "Cozlam" is a fake region being used to rip the eGovernment off for funds. What if I told you that I think you only made up this religion because you love Cozza and are doing this to get his attention?

Ezekiel Thomas: Well I suppose I would say that Cozza Akbar teaches that many people have different opinions so we need to accept these. And I wish the eGov would give us funds!

Dartreal: Oh please! It sounds like you're completely obsessed with Cozza and want him! I bet you're jealous of Dycey Farley eMarrying him. I bet at their wedding you were the one who shouted "I object!" when the priest asked if anyone objected to the eMarriage.

Ezekiel Thomas: Nah I was silenced. If I was obsessed with anyone it would be Dycey. She has some nice eyes.

Dartreal: As a loyalist Cozlam follower, wouldn't you know that falling for the eWife of Cozza was against the teachings? Doesn't that lead to some sick and twisted punishment?

Ezekiel Thomas: Haha! I’m not falling for anyone, I’m still waiting for my eWife but I suppose if I was doing what you said yea I’d probably be punished.

Dartreal: What punishment would be suitable for a Cozlam follower who tried to steal Cozza's eWife from him?

Ezekiel Thomas: Um stoned in the local square…



Dartreal: Sounds fun to me. Well the evening is coming to an end which means its time for a game of Word Association! I say a word and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Ready to play?

Ezekiel Thomas: Sure.

Dartreal: Prince Charles.
Ezekiel Thomas: Dick.

Dartreal: The Terminator.
Ezekiel Thomas: Governor.

Dartreal: Friday the 13th.
Ezekiel Thomas: Birthday, I was born on it. Hehe.

Dartreal: Well, lucky nothing bad happened when you were born!

Ezekiel Thomas: Yeah haha!

Dartreal: Chocolate cake with strawberries on top.
Ezekiel Thomas: Yum.

Dartreal: Jessica Biel covered in chocolate and strawberries.
Ezekiel Thomas: Delicious!

Dartreal: Ezekiel Thomas.
Ezekiel Thomas: Wanker.

Dartreal: And finally, Dartreal.
Ezekiel Thomas: Linguist.

Dartreal: Ezekiel, thank you for joining me for a dinner and a discussion.

Ezekiel Thomas: It was my pleasure, thanks for having me.

Despite being a extremist, fundamentalist Cozlamist, Ezekiel Thomas does have eAustralia’s best interests at heart. For someone to selflessly sacrifice so much wealth to buy eAustralia a little bit of time tells me that Ezekiel is someone who will do anything for our country. I believe that if rids himself of that heathen religion that has him so brain washed he can do anything he wants. Join me next time for another addition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until then I’m Dartreal - dine fine eAustralia.