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Hello and welcome to another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.

Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Etheodoria Vulpine. Etheodoria is someone who prefers the quiet side of life though she isn’t afraid to allow her voice to be heard. From the Dark Depths of Humanity, this Black Raven currently manages the Fox Engineering Org. In an election that saw eAustralia crown its first female ePrime Minister, the Dark Cloud on a Sunny Day ran for the eCountry’s top job. She put up a good fight regardless of having no previous experience in the senate. It’s a privilege to have Etheodoria Vulpine over for a discussion and some dinner with me, Dartreal.



Tonight’s guest: Etheodoria Vulpine (Click Here For Profile).
Tonight’s meal: Roast Kitten.
Tonight’s tune: Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.

Dartreal: Etheodoria Vulpine thanks for joining me for dinner and a discussion.

Etheodoria Vulpine: No problem just another day for the Imperia -- wait who said anything about a dinner?

Dartreal: Perhaps the wine you drank has gotten to your head? Do you not recall the Roast Kitten we just ate?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Aha. Nice try but I don't drink. is a dream.. A… dream, A dr… Oh f***, it's not a dream.

Dartreal: I must say, I've never tried cat before. I thank you for suggesting this lovely dish to my chefs and I encourage all readers to try it eventually.

Etheodoria Vulpine: The Fetus Soup was the best part.

Dartreal: Yeah… that was… interesting to say the least. Nothing like some stem cells to keep the body going. Let's move onto some questions before the public thinks we're a little too bizarre. Let's begin with the ePrime Minister election you were in previously. What made you go for the top position?

Etheodoria Vulpine: To stick it to everyone.

Dartreal: And what exactly did everyone do to you for you to "stick it to them"?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Primarily I was actually saving the seat from an unknown person, who wasn't in any form active in eAustralia, at all. If I did win I'd of given the seat to Cerri, as she was more prepared to be ePM.

Dartreal: How very honest of you and very unselfish. If only more people would think like you in terms doing what is best for eAustralia.

Etheodoria Vulpine: Hey, I'm a natural gifter, a gifter of both Happiness and Pain. But mostly pain.

Dartreal: I've heard from various people you're quote “one of the crudest people in eAustralia - so much so that I had to leave the room” unquote. Let's clean up something shall we – you are a woman yes?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Female. Not a woman.

Dartreal: Touché.

*Etheodoria Vulpine picks nose and rubs it against Dartreal's face.*



Dartreal: Oh a delightful gift that I will cherish for at least a few minutes. Question: If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Etheodoria Vulpine: After 4 days of diarrhea since today, I can obviously say that he hates it more.

Dartreal: Interesting. Let's more onto another topic: eIran. A while ago they started giving eAustralia crap about a failed eIndian attack on one of an eIndian region under their control. Though we did help out there were a lot of other eCountries who helped eIndia in that battle. Why do you think they targeted us instead of the attackers?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Unwillingly, I need to hold back my pistol against the eIranians. I would, if I had enough bullets. It's just that they have penis envy, a thing which was quite common in eAustralia.

Dartreal: Definitely and I agree with you holding back your answer. I'm sure a lot of eAustralians are thinking the same thing about eIran: Why does Donald Duck wear a towel around his waist when he showers or baths yet always wears no pants? Care to explain?

Etheodoria Vulpine: He has hot showers and lives in a cold environment, we all know where this is heading.

Dartreal: A lady of wisdom! Being the Darkest Cloud on a Sunny Day perhaps you might answer a few more questions people are afraid to know the answers to. Here's one from a reader: Would you eat any part of your own body to save yourself from dying a very painful death otherwise? Which part and why?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Possibly my appendix. Hey it's apart of me.

Dartreal: You would eat a part of the body that stores poison?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Every part of me has poison in it, I have immunity to it.

Dartreal: Question: When one loses their appendix, a body part that is said to store poisons, where would all the other poisons be stored if it is removed?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Possibly in a jar, and I’d throw it at people.

Dartreal: Though you might be the Darkest Corner in the Room, some people might not be aware of your charitable donations. You've donated over 500 AUD to various people correct?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Approximately. The approximation also includes the price of objects, mostly houses.



Dartreal: What made you do it?

Etheodoria Vulpine: I usually just have no need.

Dartreal: That's like me. The other day I was rolling around in a big pile of money. I sat up and thought of how many other people might actually benefit from this money. So I ordered my butler to burn it all then I proceeded to roll around in the ashes! Hahaha!

Etheodoria Vulpine: Well money as is fun. But Human Ashes are better.

Dartreal: I've ummm… never had the pleasure… Speaking of money: would you pluck out one of your eyes and eat it for a million dollars?

Etheodoria Vulpine: My eye is awesome, so no.

Dartreal: Five million?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Money isn't everything.

Dartreal: It isn't? …Ten million?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Now I know you wouldn't have that much.

Dartreal: I'm just saying what if someone offered you that much, it doesn't have to come to from me. Twenty-five million, final offer.

Etheodoria Vulpine: No.

Dartreal: What the hell is so awesome about your bloody eye?

Etheodoria Vulpine: It's my eye. You know how much it is on the black market? 10 times as much as 25 Million.

Dartreal: No wonder you were holding back! I knew there was reasoning behind your madness. Now let's talk about flowers for a second. You're a poetic person being the Darkest Crayon in the Box: If roses are red why the hell are violets blue when they should be violet? Why are they even called violets then?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Because Violet wasn't considered another color until Crayola made them into Crayons.

Dartreal: And being the Darkest Crayon in the Box you would know such a thing?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Damn right.

Dartreal: Speaking of colours: If you choked a Smurf what colour would it turn?

Etheodoria Vulpine: Flesh-pink.

Dartreal: It is logical and it makes sense, a very fine answer. Let's talk about something you might not have since you are the Darkest Star in the Sky: What is it that really scares you?

Etheodoria Vulpine: 3 things scare me most: The 'Miracle' of Birth, Love and baby seals that haven't been clubbed.

Dartreal: Care to explain each of your fears a little more?

Etheodoria Vulpine: I never really liked eating those things.



Dartreal: That is... interesting, and now you're beginning to creep me out a little so shall we move onto dessert?

Etheodoria Vulpine: No I need to get going.

Dartreal: Well before you leave shall we do some Word Association? It's fun!

Etheodoria Vulpine: I don't associate with words.

Dartreal: Perfect! Let's begin! Mouse.

Etheodoria Vulpine: I don’t write, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Dartreal: ...so you're answer is cheese?

*Etheodoria Vulpine stares coldly at Dartreal.*

Dartreal: Well... this is awkward silence so I believe we'll leave it at that. Thanks for joining me Etheodoria.

Etheodoria Vulpine: Right.

Dartreal: Are you sure about dessert?

*Etheodoria Vulpine continues to stare coldly at Dartreal.*

Dartreal: Don't get up. I just remember I have to be somewhere else that is far away from here. Thanks again for the interview!

After a few hours, Etheodoria left my house and I returned to it safely. Etheodoria Vulpine eLadies and eGentlemen, the Blackest Rose of the Bunch. It is definitely a unique interview indeed, and a dinner for that matter, and I’m pretty sure that I’ll be scarred for life now. Join me next time for another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until I’m released from the local mental institution, I’m Dartreal - dine fine eAustralia.