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Hello and welcome to another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.

Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Dean Kong. Dean Kong has an impressive resume. He’s served in many cabinets where he was a Minister of Foreign Affairs, a Minister of Information and a Minister of Defense. He was also appointed the Inspector General during his career. Dean Kong was also involved in the military, he is a proud Communist and he is also a religious man – having founded Timeoinism. An impressive resume like that leads to an impressive Dinner & Discussion so please, won’t you join us eAustralia?



Tonight’s guest: Dean Kong.
Tonight’s meal: Persian flesh, (cause that’s what Spartan’s eat when they dine in Hell).
Tonight’s tune: Bach’s The Well Tempered Clavier.

Dartreal: Dean Kong, thanks for joining me for Dinner & Discussion.

Dean Kong: Glad to be here.

Dartreal: How are your finding your dinner so far? Is it charred to your liking?

Dean Kong: Oh yes very much so, I love burned flesh.

Dartreal: Despite it being from a human, I still think having kittens with EV was the most disturbing thing to eat.

Dean Kong: As long as they're Persian kittens then I have no problems with it, though I must say I don't envy you.

Dartreal: It wasn't as bad as most people think. I wouldn't mind having another roast kitten myself in the future... in the far, far future.

Dean Kong: Make sure you tell EV about your second serving.

Dartreal: I think she'd be over here in a heartbeat hearing I'll be having kittens for dinner. Let's talk about your big political career. You've got one very impressive resume. Before we go into it any further I'd like to ask you what many people are wondering - is there any relation between you and Donkey Kong?

Dean Kong: Haha, nope no relation, though was an unfortunate coincidence that I didn't consider when making my name up years ago.

Dartreal: What about any relation between you and King Kong?

Dean Kong: I have tried to encourage that over the last few months but no one will buy into me being related to a gigantic angry ape.

Dartreal: I can see a bit of gorilla in you but other than that, I wouldn't think you were both related if you were standing near one another.

Dean Kong: I would of thought the largely bulked up figures would be an obvious similarity.

Dartreal: Yeah. Now that I think about it, I really don't see it. Let's go back to that impressive political career of yours. You've been a Minister of Foreign Affairs, Information and Defense. Of the three, which was your most favourite and why?
Dean Kong: I'd have to say Minister of Foreign Affairs. I got to meet a lot of people from other countries and represent my country in a positive way under ePrime Minister Patti11.



Dartreal: Would you like to be a minister of any of the other things you haven't been minister of yet, or would you want to be a Minister of Foreign Affairs again?

Dean Kong: I would definitely enjoy being a Foreign Affairs minister again, but I would like to also try perhaps being a full Minster of Defense, or a Deputy ePrime Minister also. I feel I've been in around long enough to have the experience for these roles.

Dartreal: Is that a hint towards a possible run for ePrime Minister?

Dean Kong: Definitely! I nearly done it this the previous term as a few people might be aware but I've decided to pull out for now due to a lack of experience.

Dartreal: Would you consider being a minister of say, a church?

Dean Kong: Sure as long as it's not the eVatican haha. I'm already the founder of Timeoinism.

Dartreal: What exactly is Timeoinism?

Dean Kong: Timeoinism is the religion following Timeoin, the eGod of all things Wiki.

Dartreal: Sounds like a very informative religion.

Dean Kong: It is the duty of all Timeoinites to INFORM people wherever possible, including unimportant and irrelevant information.

Dartreal: Speaking of unimportant information, did you know turtles can breath through their bums?

Dean Kong: No I didn't know that. Look, you're a natural Timeoinite already!

Dartreal: Perhaps I should join this cult, I mean religion.

Dean Kong: Sure, as long as you drop of all your gold and AUD to Timeoin you're free to join! Haha! We don't ask for much

Dartreal: Of course you don't. Something that must have been a fun job for you was being the Inspector General of the Government. For those who don't know, do you mind explaining why there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Dean Kong: Inspector general was very entertaining, inspecting general objects was fascinating and well paying. So yes I did inspect flotation devices under planes. They are there incase of snakes on a plane, the idea is to float over all the snakes so Samuel L Jackson doesn't get angry again.

Dartreal: It makes complete sense. Another job of the Inspector General is to investigate any corruption within the senate, cabinet and the Prime Minister. That begs the question, who investigates the Investigator General?

Dean Kong: The Queen of England of course. I think his name is Winston L.S. Churchill

Dartreal: Besides politics you've also been involved in the military, serving once as the Marshall of the AAR. That asks the question: where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Dean Kong: It's implied through the place where he broke himself and they couldn't put him back together… actually I don't know, this I shall ponder for many eons until I achieve nirvana.



Dartreal: What if Humpty was a human being who was blown apart when the wall was destroyed by a bomb?

Dean Kong: But it says he fell, not that he was blown off and following Newton’s second law of motion, unless… he defied physics!

Dartreal: Naturally one would fall off a wall if it was being demolished.

Dean Kong: But then wouldn't he be crushed and all the kings horses and all the kings men wouldn't even find him again?

Dartreal: Especially if he were blown into pieces. Maybe that's why they didn't add that part into the nursery rhyme.

Dean Kong: It would certainly traumatise the kids for surely, almost as bad as your EV interview.

Dartreal: I don't know, our version of Humpty Dumpty might actually cheer them up after they read my interview with EV. I know it would have cheered me up.

Dean Kong: I certainly feel better and distracted from it, hehe.

Dartreal: Let's talk about the Australian Communist Party. You've been its Party President twice and it's no surprise you're a proud Communist. Why do you love communism so much?

Dean Kong: Well in the real world I always found communism a fascinating idea of running a government. Obviously it's never worked there so when I joined I arrived in this world, I decided I'd try to get it to work. Upon being a Commie I also found it the ideal way to use the political system for most but not all of its components. So I guess you could say that's why I love Communism, it works well for me

Dartreal: I think it is a wonderful idea and the original idea of Communism is that one day, everyone will be working together for the better of everyone and not just for one's selfish needs.

Dean Kong: Exactly. That's what we're trying to achieve now in eAustralia.

Dartreal: It's a just cause but it's a same many people have a bad view of Communism due to its history. When they think Communism they think evil. What do you have to say about people who think your party is an evil party?

Dean Kong: Well I guess I'd have to say that you need to make the difference between real world and the eWorld. Communist parties haven't done anything bad in here… yet, haha. We're quite a friendly active party and not in any way evil or not wishing eAustralia the best

Dartreal: When I think of Communism I think of the colour red and when I think of the colour red, I think of Coca-Cola - and everyone loves Coca-Cola!

Dean Kong: That's also what I think of incidentally which is odd cause Communists hate Capitalist companies!


Dartreal: But Coca-Cola helps everyone, unlike those bastards at Pepsi!

Dean Kong: With their weird flavours, like Pepsi and lime, what the f*** is that!?

Dartreal: I don't know, but what I do know is that if you translate the words "Coca-Cola" to Chinese it means "To make mouth happy".

Dean Kong: Oh really? Well that's certainly true.

Dartreal: Would you buy a drink if it was called "To Make Mouth Happy?"

Dean Kong: Definitely, I love my mouth being happy.



Dartreal: And who doesn't? Well Dean Kong, our dinner is coming to an end so that means its time for a game of Word Assocation. I say a word and you say whatever pops into your head. Are you ready?

Dean Kong: As ready as I'll ever be!

Dartreal: Fight Club.
Dean Kong: Movie

Dartreal: Button.
Dean Kong: poker

Dartreal: Team Rocket.
Dean Kong: POKEMANS!

Dartreal: Samurai Pizza Cats.
Dean Kong: jackie chan

Dartreal: Britney Spears giving you a lap dance.
Dean Kong: AIDS

Dartreal: Dean Kong.
Dean Kong: Legend.

Dartreal: And finally, Dartreal.
Dean Kong: Montreal…. no idea why. Rhymes I guess.

Dartreal: Well you know what they say "There's no Canada like French Canada!"

Dean Kong: Haha! Exactly!

Dartreal: Dean Kong, thank you for joining me.

Dean Kong: Thank you for having me.

There you have it ladies and gents, Dean Kong: proud Communist and a hard working eAustralian who is ready to serve his country and do so proudly. It’s a shame that he is a Communist and all. No matter how much they say they aren’t, they are truly evil. Of course I kid – I wouldn’t want any former KGB agents coming after me. Of course most of them are in my pocket and are very good at making people… oh my I’ve lost my train of thought! Dean Kong people! What a nice chap! Join me next time for another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until then I’m Dartreal - dine fine Australia.