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Hello and welcome to another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. I am your host, Dartreal, and I welcome you to my home.

Tonight, I’m proud to present my interview with Bass Junkie. Bass is an, interesting individual as I found out. He has been a senator three times and twice was the vice party president of the ANP. He has served as the Deputy Minister of Defence and was a former Marshal of the AAR. Bass joined me for a unique dinner and some very interesting discussion with me, Dartreal. Let’s see how this young eAustralian composed himself after helping himself to seconds… and thirds…



Tonight’s guest: Bass Junkie.
Tonight’s meal: Beer.
Tonight’s tune: Beethoven’s 1st Symphony.

Dartreal: Bass thanks for joining me for dinner and a discussion.

Bass: Not a problem

Dartreal: How have you been enjoying you're umm... "dinner".

Bass: Breakfast of champions, or dinner whichever way you look at it.

Dartreal: Either way I look at it I find it rather, disgusting, to have beer for a meal. Why would you select such a disgusting thing to have for dinner?

Bass: Well, to be honest, it's the secret to my political success. You can't make a bad decision when you're constantly drunk.

Dartreal: Of course you can't make a bad decision, you're making several

Bass: Yes, but I'll deal with those bad decisions when I sober up... you can see the logic here, surely?

Dartreal: Setting yourself up the night before for something more painful than a hangover? No, I don't really.

Bass: I guess it's something that must be experienced

Dartreal: I think I’ll pass on that one. Would you care for some wine with your beer?

Bass: Yes, please, a Rose if you have one.

Dartreal: Will this 20 year aged bottle from eFrance do?

Bass: Absolutely, thank you Dartreal.

Dartreal: Quite welcome. So let's talk about something many people might not know. Did you know that there is a city called Rome on every continent?

Bass: I guess that's where the say "Rome wasn't built in a day" comes from.

Dartreal: Why do you think every continent has a city called Rome?

Bass: Presumably because Rome is one of the homes of government, and government decides on city names. It's a testament to its heritage, in essence.

Dartreal: Sounds good to me. You've been a three time senator and a Deputy Minister of Defence correct?

Bass: That's right

Dartreal: If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

Bass: That, or Korean food.

Dartreal: Oh boy, I'm seeing a lot of angry Koreans reading this. Speaking of which, how do you think cat tastes like?

Bass: I imagine it would be quite gamey, only smaller.



Dartreal: Would you eat it if someone offered it to you?

Bass: I'd try anything once, except most seafood.

Dartreal: Not a big fan of seafood?

Bass: Not really, I feel man belongs on land, and so does his meal.

Dartreal: Which is funny coming from someone with the first name "Bass".

Bass: Self-preservation?

Dartreal: Going back to things you wouldn't eat, what three things stick out the most that you would never eat?

Bass: Well, as we discussed before, most fish. Other than that, I would have to say poison and excrement.

Dartreal: Different to the three things I wouldn't eat

Bass: May I ask what they are?

Dartreal: Maggoty meat, rotten eggs and Camilla Parker-Bowles. I’d imagine that British hag wouldn’t have much meat on those bones of hers.

Bass: Fair call, I sure hope your next interview doesn't propose poison and excrement for dinner.

Dartreal: Oh I won't I'm a man of class. I wouldn't offer you anything like that unless you're my enemy. Care for some poison, I mean, dessert?

Bass: Well that settles my question of where I stand...

Dartreal: Haha, I kid. Let's talk about something more serious, capital punishment. Why do people kill people who kill people to show that killing is wrong?

Bass: The term capital punishment is misleading. Like prison, capital punishment was originally created to keep criminals away from society and keep society safe. However unlike prison, capital punishment requires no upkeep. Once a criminal is dead, you don't need to feed them. Capital punishment is no punishment, but a release for the criminal, and the easy way out for all parties. That said I do believe it has its place - it can drastically reduce the cost of our penal system, and can ensure safety for our population, in and out of prison.



Dartreal: ...And you said beer makes not think straight which leads to you making stupid decisions ?

Bass: Actually, you said that, I said it's the secret to my political success, hehe.

Dartreal: Touché. Let's step away from politics and look at your military accomplishments. You told me that one of your most favourite jobs was being the Marshal of the AAR. Why was this?

Bass: I feel I made a real positive difference in the AAR. I saw it pass the 100 member mark, I have organised the future expansion into Companies as well as Platoons, and have seen some great soldiers and leaders move up the chain. Being the Marshal of the AAR is a very rewarding position. In addition to this, I have worked with some great people in the AAR and my success can largely be credited to the help of my colleagues. One note to any future leader: You can't succeed without collaboration, just ensure you keep discipline at the same time.

Dartreal: Very wise words from someone who is currently six times over the alcohol limit.

Bass: It takes a lot to talk without a slur.

Dartreal: Well Mr. "Beer Makes My Brains Go Smart-Smart", here's a question for you. You are leading 100 people in a survivalist situation, when suddenly your lives are in danger and you must choose between two courses of action. One would cause 10 of the people to die and everyone else would live, the other would have a 70% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail then everyone would die. Which would you choose?

Bass: Do the 10 people include me?

Dartreal: No.

Bass: Then definitely that option I am the most selfish person you will find.

Dartreal: What if you were part of those 10 people?

Bass: Then the other option, haha!

Dartreal: Knowing there's a 30% chance you could die?

Bass: I'd rather a 30% chance than a 100% chance. I believe heavily in human nature Survival instincts are in every soldier, they should not be ignored.

Dartreal: And being a soldier you would do whatever it took to survive?

Bass: Absolutely.

Dartreal: Anything?

Bass: Where are you going with this?

Dartreal: Name me three situations where you would rather die than live.

Bass: Put in vegetated state, in constant pain with no possibility of relief, and losing eAustralia to those bastards in eBrazil!

Dartreal: The first two were two of my answers. The third thing that I was die than do is, Camilla Parker-Bowles.



Bass: Wow, good thing you can't be sued for libel!

Dartreal: What a wonderful eWorld we live it! Well, the dinner is coming to an end which means its time for a game of Word Association! Are you ready to play?

Bass: Sure!

Dartreal: I say a word and you say the first thing that pops into your head. Sudoku.
Bass: Mind-games

Dartreal: Toyota
Bass: Hybrid

Dartreal: The Spice Girls.
Bass: Just bring it!

Dartreal: Nostradamus
Bass: 2012.

Dartreal: I feel like Chicken Tonight.
Bass: Nostalgia!

Dartreal: My right toe is infected.

Bass: You should see a doctor.

Dartreal: Actually that wasn't part of the game I was talking to my butler. But yes, I think I should see a doctor before I get an infection and die.

Bass: That would be handy.

Dartreal: Next word, Mr. Roboto.
Bass: Bender.

Dartreal: Bass Junkie.
Bass: Greatest man alive.

Dartreal: And finally, Dartreal.
Bass: Excellent host.

Dartreal: Well I do my best to please. Thank you very much Bass for joining me for a discussion over din... well over beer actually.

Bass: I hope you enjoyed your womanly food, and I'll see you in the bar, err, I mean war-room.

Dartreal: Hahaha, womanly food. I "hope you don't lose control of your car" you drunken fool!

Bass: Who needs to drive when you're in the government!?

Dartreal: Ok. You'll win this round but the next round will be mine!

Bass: Autobots, roll out!

Dartreal: Drive safe!

Fortunately Bass was not driving himself home and was smart enough to call up a mate to pick him up. We at the Word Down Under would like to remind everyone that if you Drink then Drive, You’re a Bloody eIdiot. Bass Junkie: beer is to him what spinach is to Popeye, only it makes him smarter and not stronger. Join me next time for another edition of Dinner & Discussion with Dartreal. Until then I’m Dartreal - dine fine eAustralia.