[Swiss Cheese] Interview with Penguin4512!

Day 1,768, 05:12 • Published in Switzerland Switzerland • by Trogdorthetroll100

Welcome to The Troll's bridge! Your most reliable news source in Switzerland!

You all know the self-proclaimed oldest (active) penguin in Switzerland, Penguin4512. I found him here,

and was able to squat him down for an interview. He revealed many interesting things to me, which I will now present to you, my ever-faithful readers, UNEDITED.


Hello, good sire. When did you start playing this one click two click red click blue click game?
“ It was back in 'Nam. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was stationed near Đà Nẵng, in what can only be described as a shack in the middle of the jungle surrounded by bloodthirsty mosquitoes. I tell you, the amount of Agent Orange we used back then is enough to drive any baby deaf and blind for the rest of their life. Not that we did that though, of course history has made us out to be murderers and looters, when in fact we were most often the victims of our own government's paralysis. Where was I? Oh yes, as we stood on the edge of the volcano overlooking the center of the Earth, I turned to my Uncle and asked, "How much beef jerky did you pack?" He looked at me and smiled. "None, Penguin, none at all..."”

How far up the governmental iceberg have you gotten?
“Despite walking for several years, I'm still where I started. I suspect the iceberg itself has been slowly rotating in the opposite direction. Perhaps I should examine this theory more closely.”

-Interjection for a video of Penguin4512 trying to climb the swiss iceberg of government HERE-


Who was your favorite Swiss pengpresident, and why not?
“Eh? Tentacle rape? No, I don't approve of that.”

Who do you utterly despise in Switzerland? With all your blubber that penguins definitely have?
“God, I hate that one guy who keeps avoiding the question!”


What is your favorite part of this game?
“The ads module, that shit was great. I ran for president once and pretty much filled the entire sidebar of the screen with "NINJA PENGUIN STEALS COKE" and other stuff like that. of course I lost the election... probably not correlated though.”


What would you call a penguin in the desert?
“Sounds like a deserted penguin with no dessert. That's why I stay in Switzerland and make sure I always have ice cream on hand”

What is the origin of your name?
“Sorry, I forgot the question from the time it took me to look down from your message”

*I call lazy*

What is your connection to the infamous TrogdortheTroll100?
“well, i know your just going to edit this anyway to make yourself look better but MY HERO! HE'S MY HERO! I OWE EVERYTHING TO TROGDOR THE TROLL! HAIL OUR GLORIOUS DICTATOR!”

Is there anything else you would like to say?
“Yeah”

Penguin4512 everyone. Coherent answers for a sober public. If you want be interviewed, message me! I will proudly type "lol no" into the keyboard just for you.

Cheers,
Trogdor


Previous interviews you might want to read
Lotus Black
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Paul Proteus