[MWC] Interview with a Wookie

Day 2,068, 20:34 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by mwcerberus

Recently I had a chance to interview current minister of something WookieO (a chance I got by asking) (not even nicely either just shout at people seems to work)

Here is that interview

Q1: Why, Why, Why Delilah?

A1: Because she makes me oh, so horny. It’s this sexual frustration that made me want to stand up and be counted for all the wookies out there. I’m a bit like Nelson Mandela in many ways, just not black, quite a bit hairier, I’m English and oh yeah, I’ve never been a political prisoner. But apart from that it’s like we’re the same.



Q2: So I put some rambo stripes on my cheeks and went outside with a lamp in hand yesterday is my imaginary therapist Kevin lying to me when he says I’m better?

A2: No, Kevin’s always right, he talks to me too. Although he calls himself Sally. He told me that I should embrace the random guinea pig fiddling that had plagued me all my life. And he was right! I feel so much better for it, the guilt is gone and I actually think those cheeky little feckers like it too!



Q3: cow meat is beef, pig meat is pork/bacon, sheep meat is mutton, deer meat is venison. Wookie meat is?

A3: Not for consumption! Unless Mrs Wook wants a nibble of course 😉 Mmmmmm, Mrs Wook, she so pretty....all that glorious hair everywhere. Yummy.



Q4: Some youths are always cutting across my field to get to school (rather than walking round) is a bear trap an appropriate response?

A4: Absolutely. A man’s field is his castle. That bloke in Murica got sent home with a pat on the back the other day for killing some yoof apparently in self defence...so a bear trap is perfectly acceptable I believe. It’ll teach the little blighters a good lesson.



Q5: Pick one other eRep player to take on your dream date… describe it to us in painful detail

A5: It’d have to be Chaz. He would pick me up in his stretched Ford Cortina, whisk me up to the West End, plying me with Red Stripe and rum all the way, naturally.

There would be classic ska mixed with some 2 tone and some third wave music playing loudly in the background whilst the limo trundles through the London streets.

When we arrive at our destination it turns out to be a tiny Greek restaurant in some dark alleyway somewhere near Piccadilly Circus and Chaz has brought a third person to join in his plans for a menage a trois....yes, it’s Wayne!

We sit around a small table drinking ourselves silly with cheap Greek wine and chucking various kebabs, stuffed vine leaves and exotic spicy sausages into our gobs. The conversation is mainly full of hilarious Pat Harper quotes and questioning the love of redheads that appears to dominate much of eRep.

The evening ends with Chaz’s Cortina limo taking us all off to his Park Lane penthouse apartment for a night of outrageous shenanigans...


I was looking for a related photo then I found this…… sometimes you just gotta go with your gut

Q6: Are wookies cuter than ewoks?

A6: Of course we bleedin’ are!!! Ewoks are vermin. They get everywhere, they smell and their women folk are disgusting. Wookies win....always.



Q7: Do you have anything else you want to say/advertise/do? Anything maybe I missed with my detailed questioning?

A7: I’d like to put in a shameless plug for my newspaper Wookie Witterings because for some reason people have not been subscribing, despite the clearly stupendous articles I have released in the past. Expect some more equally brilliant copy to be heading your way in the near future!

Oh and don’t forget...if you’re a laid back, funky individual in the eUK and want a political party that shares these attributes....head on over to The Skatalites where all your dreams will come true 🙂

BONUS PICS


My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.
Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"