[MWC] ~ Competition Wingmen assemble!!!
Day 2,042, 16:50
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by mwcerberus
Hey guys,
I’ve just had some exciting news
I’m getting new neighbours….
What’s so special about that you ask? Well
After chatting to my neighbour it turns out he has a daughter who is 16 in 4 weeks (July 24th apparently)
Now just to clarify I’m a 20 year old male so this news excites me massively
Now as you may have previously seen I have chat up lines sorted http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/chat-up-line-for-you--2256554/1/20
But I do have a slight problem
That being said I’m 20 and can buy her booze I also have access to chloroform so I do have a chance
But I’m going to need some kick arse tips on how to get into her pants and that’s where the competition element comes in
The best/funniest advice gets 1 GOLD if multiple people give ‘really good’ advice they will all get 1 GOLD so don’t think that just because a dentist came in and gave some awesome advice you’re out of the running I am talking ‘really good’ advice though just ‘good’ won’t cut it
Bonus pics
Bonus joke
In an argument with my girlfriend yesterday, she shouted at me:
"Stop making jokes about rape! How do you think the women feel?"
"Depends on the girth," was probably not the best response.
😮well done acroc
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defo not the funny advise, but the real one, you can buy the booze, so let her drink it, DONT DO SO YOURSELF, drink some but stay in control, do al the bla bla bla and you have now got laid....
if you get drunk like i am now to write this you failed, if you succeded, your not a drunk like me, wait the ending wasnt ment to be like this, but i forgot what the start was, good luck
Wingmen needed you say?!
My advice would be forget the condoms, they're so 1970s. Just make sure that ho is on the pill and make sure she isn't lying because sometimes they want to get impregnated because they think it will make you stay with them and it ends up on Jeremy Kyle. But yeah smash her back doors in basically, she's already 16 so she's probably broken in and dirty as fuck, just don't try taking her on a holiday to France (it didn't work out well for the last guy to try). So to summarise.... Smash smash mate.
Mentalist
Best chat up line = "Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
ACROC, YOUR MERC MEDAL! 😃
On the one hand, Stoked I got an article about my new precious
On the other, I have been proved wrong once again D ' :
Seen dispatchers tonight? Be an under cover special unit officer?
Butjam will admit I give the best advice. It worked for him, I'm sure it'll work for you.
Show her your dick!
Congratulations on your merc medal acroc
I'd have to give you a solid 7 based on your charm, and remember http://prntscr.com/1bq4sg
http://i.imgur.com/IsJe9VW.png
http://prntscr.com/1bq8gz
http://www.diablo3goldz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/You-Think-This-Is-A-Game-Cat-Meme.png
[removed]
Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine, and me money on
flowers and lollies only to find that what's on me mind isn't on hers and
she's sorry. So I've made up some lines that save wastin' time and keep
me from blowin' me brass, I'm ever so cool I just prop on the stool right
next to hers and I ask:
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Cause you've you've got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face'll be leavin' in a quarter of an hour--
I'd like you to be on it'
You know how it feels when you first meet a girl and the bullshit you've
gotta go through like callin' her up and tellin' her you love her, when all
that you'd love is just to screw! But she wants to hold hands and you to
meet her old man, and sit around for hours and talk. But me new method
is, you just cut through the shit and get down to the goodies straight off!
So the next time you see a good-lookin' female and you'd give a week's
pay just to hold her. Don't sit acting dumb, just front her full-on and drop
a few lines like I told you. This new method of mine might not work every
time, but then again no method will, I've been spat at and slapped, and
kneed in the knackers but then I've got a few fucks as well!
Horice q:
http://youtu.be/5b65Zf6r-RE
Horice (:
It makes sense, I live by the phrase" If at first you don't succeed, quit school, join the circus and become a disciple of Horice"
16 eh? Hope you like One Direction and the Bieber. 'Cause that's the shit you'll have to listen to in order to gain access. Not worth it, IMHO.
15 years 4 months leo 🙂 wonder if they'll be a new Bieber by then