Zombie Apocalypse Team Auditions - Win 5 Gold!
Pat Harper
Reading Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc
In preparation for the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse I am assembling a team of 4 people including myself to survive...
But are you fit enough?
For a chance to win 5 gold comment why you should be in my survival team you must fill in the following in the comment section:
1. Clothing + Gear
2. Primary Weapon
3. Secondary Weapon
4. Melee Weapon
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
6. Location of choice
7. Soundtrack of choice
8. War Cry
9. Last Words
10. Vehicle of choice
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
Here is my list:
Clothing: ghillie suit, kevlar gloves, tactical sunglasses, steel toe boots.
Primary Weapon: Customised M4A1 SOPMOD - Silencer, Grenade Launcher, Grip, Acog sight.
Secondary Weapon: M1911 Colt SD
Melee: Katana
Inventory: Tactical Bacon, Water Bottle, Hunting Knife, Medical Kit, binoculars.
Location:
Huehuehuehuehue
But seriously probably a farmhouse not too far from town.
Sound Track: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pGzfvA0Unk
War cry: WARAWWWWWRR!!!
Last Words: 'The treasure is buried at....'
Vehicle: Toyota Hilux ute
If you have what it takes... CALL IT!
I will pick 3 people, each will be given 5 gold.
You will be instantly doomed if you start bitching about realism/gun specifics - I am looking aesthetically because I don't have the slightest clue about military equipment other than video games.
Good Luck!
Comments
I have a single .38 round. If and when the zombie apocalypse comes it will be my intent to blow my head off and leave the madness to you!
Where's the fun in that!
I work in the fire dept thus allowing for some down time. A few of my coworkers have become survivalist. It drives them nutz when I sit back and poke fun at them. Opting to even show them my .38 hollow point.
I hope it does not detract from your fun post. I may get the guys to answer for me to show them some luz.
Don't leave us. :'(
Full body kevlar armor that doesn't compromise mobility.
Ak-47 (Mobile, reliable and easy to operate)
Glock pistol
Chinese military multi-purpose shovel.
Extra rations, water bottle, GPS, tissues (cough), medkit.
Anywhere with abundant food supply.
Remember the name -Fort Minor
huehuehue
Delete my internet history. Please.
HMMVV
Military brat in RL, familiar with weapons and first aid. 😃
1. Clothing + Gear
- My 4 season military uniform with Gortex jacket and socks.
- Tactical vest
- mach 4 Canadian military boots (can stomp the hell out of Zombie skulls in these!)
2. Primary Weapon
- Compound bow with steel arrows
3. Secondary Weapon
- 9MM with Silencer
4. Melee Weapon
- Katana sword
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
- Water purifier pills
- Lighter with Butane refill can
- Week supply of field rations
- Extra socks
- Working radio/CB Radio with batteries
6. Location of choice
- http://goo.gl/IN6DZk
7. Soundtrack of choice
- http://goo.gl/DkcYWE
8. War Cry
- Thats Not my purse! I dont know YOUUUU!!!
9. Last Words
- About damn time....
10. Vehicle of choice
- http://goo.gl/B33yED
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
- Military trained
- Hours of entertainment
- We could live off the land if we had to...
- Can build improvised shelter.
- Trained to kill
- Will keep you alive
- Will kill self if bitten so you don't have to worry about me having a 2 AM snack on your brains.
Lol'd at the location haha
Yes, that would be a hell of a place to take....
Take and keep that fortress... We could fly out for supplies.. Drop a ladder and then just fly back.
That bridge would be hella easy to fill up with traps and obstacles.
Where is that? Looks neat.
I am going to say in England somewhere lol
1. Jungle Uniform, with backpack, Bowie Knife and canteen
2. Browning Automatic Rifle
3. Colt Peacemaker
4. Hatchet
5. Flint, Steel, Cross Bow, Wet Stone and Swiss Army Knife
6. Finger Lakes Area
7. Killer ~ Alice Cooper
8. CURRAHEE!
9. Death before Dishonor
10. Clydesdale
11. I kill for the thrill....
1. Full black leathers. I don't need armour cause those zombies won't touch me.
2. Primary Weapon - Twin glocks (semi automatics)
3. Secondary Weapon - Mini Crossbow: http://images.gizmag.com/hero/wristbow.jpg
4. Melee Weapon - Two handed scimitar: http://thedarkblade.com/wp-content/uploads/two-handed-great-scimitar.jpg
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack) - First aid kit (for my companions cause I won't need it), Chocolate (a girl needs her chocolate!), Grappling and abseiling kits.
6. Location of choice - London (I don't want those nasty zombies in my home Country thanks)
7. Soundtrack of choice - P!nk (she has great angry girl-power music)
8. War Cry - Something like the Xena war-cry with random odd swears thrown in.
9. Last Words - Don't worry, I'll kill them for you. Sorry you couldn't make it. (I won't be the one who's dying)
10. Vehicle of choice - Black Humvee: http://www.am-prep.com/spaw2/uploads/images/Humvee2-Blk1993.jpg
11. Why YOU should be a survivor! - The last survivor is always the fearless chick! I'm also a nurse in RL, so I can patch you and the other guys up! 🙂
I think I need patching
1. Clothing + Gear
clothes with a load of pockets
2. Primary Weapon
shotgun- a big one to compensate
3. Secondary Weapon
charm and wit + the element of surprise
4. Melee Weapon
scythe
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
weed - never tried it so if there's zombies i may as well
a robot friend - think small r2 d2
karen gillan's torso - ermmm
camera
shades - for looking cool
6. Location of choice
O'Malley's pub
7. Soundtrack of choice
nelly - here comes the boom
8. War Cry
feck that zombie's got nice tits
9. Last Words
who knew zombies have teeth between all their lips
10. Vehicle of choice
reliant robin
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
-i can kiss owwies better
-not afraid to go gay if you pick 4 dudes
-encyclopedic knowledge of pokemon
This is golden, secret league of Matthews we trust!
whenever i comment on one of your articles i get a random canadian befriending me.....
feel free to say hi random canadians
hi.
Hey there, eh.
1. Parkour clothing and an assortment of funny hats. Can't eat me if you can't catch me!
2. Primary Weapon - Daryl Dixon
3. Secondary Weapon - Two Silenced Glocks
4. Melee Weapon - Honjo Masamune
5. 5 Inventory Items - Rations, Water Bottle, Large supply of Bottlecaps for currency, toothbrush with toothpaste (Dentists would approve), fireworks with long fuses.
6. Location of Choice - Malbork Castle (http://tinyurl.com/lw7s2py)
7. Soundtrack of Choice - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47dtFZ8CFo8
8. War Cry - Sniggidy Diggidy, GET OFF MY LAWN!
9. Last Words - I've had it with these damned decorations. Either they go, or I d-
10. Vehicle of Choice - http://tinyurl.com/khasmlu
11. I'm well versed in zombisms. I know what makes them tick, man. I know how to kill them with my bare hands, know how to avoid them. I know what to do if a zombie apocalypse comes, I have what it takes. I've killed SCORES of men in 'nam. YOU CAN'T STOP ME. YOU AIN'T HARD ENOUGH. I WILL WIN YOU FU-
1. Clothing + Gear:
Leather body armour made from Blue Moose hides
2. Primary Weapon:
Semi-automatic rifle with two-clicker action
3. Secondary Weapon:
Special Edition crossbow, "The Congressman", with a 14 arrow clip, one for each congressman elected last term
4. Melee Weapon
Double ended knife made from Blue Moose antler
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
(CP Medals would be too easy)
Kaz Leblanc's make-up kit
CPF Party Membership Card
Rylde's peace pipe (never been used)
bound collection of unfinished short stories by Acacia Mason
a flask of tears collected from the various Butthurt Brigades assembled over the years
6. Location of choice
A toss up between my Q4 Special Forces Training Centre and TemButt's CP Campaign Headquarters. I mean the training centre is Q4 and provides 40 strength every day, pretty solid defences, but Tem's CP HQ is slippery, just when you think you've found it and got him nominated, it's gone! Probably go with Tem HQ.
7. Soundtrack of choice:
A three song loop-
Touch of Grey by The Grateful Dead
Long Way To Neverland by Headstones
Zombie by The Cranberries
8. War Cry
"I am your undead D'Addy!!!"
9. Last Words
"Honey, remember how you wanted me to eat your muffin with more enthusiasm? Well, ask me again in one minute..."
10. Vehicle of choice
The bus that framilosu used to run over TFD and CPF in the May 2010 CP election
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
I have survived this game for four years, endlessly clicking through the obstacles put before me by admin, using my VISA to buy their offerings of flesh, building political and MU compounds to establish safe havens for like minded zombies. I really don't know if I am on the zombie's team or the human's team, but I don't care, and that is why i survive!!! Plus, I'm a member of the CPF, the largest zombie horde in game, and that counts for something.
http://cheezburger.com/7950425856
1. Clothing + Gear: Iron man's suit (the will not be able to kill me in it😁)
2. Primary Weapon: Iron man's pulse gunner one the armor hands.
3. Secondary Weapon: chest missiles
4. Melee Weapon: My iron wrists.
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack): first aid kit. survival knife. fishing rod/hock. bottle for water and a deck of cards.
6. Location of choice: here http://prntscr.com/2bvhjq
7. Soundtrack of choice: boulevard of broken dreams - Green Day
8. War Cry: fuck you! and you! and you to!
9. Last Words: Save yourself!
10. Vehicle of choice: http://prntscr.com/2bvish
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!: because they can't bite through steel armour ;P
[removed]
1. Clothing + Gear: Casual wear, maybe a watch.
2. Primary Weapon: I'm a sheltered teen with no access to weapons, so nothing.
3. Secondary Weapon: Comedic Relief
4. Melee Weapon: Cutco knife, very good for cutting steaks.
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack): Gameboy, DS, Laptop, Charger, and 5 Pound bag of Watermelon Sour Patch Kids.
6. Location of choice: My house
7. Soundtrack of choice : Bird and the Worm
8. War Cry: LACHLAN FOR AA;
9. Last Words: Pat Harper 4 Emperor
10. Vehicle of choice: No license, N/A
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!: I have tostitos pizza rolls.
Oh poor poor Zianni... You will make a very nice ghoul lol
1. Clothing + Gear: All Under Armour, might as well get a sponsorship, plus a watch and shades
2. Primary Weapon: Shotgun
3. Secondary Weapon: Beretta 92FS
4. Melee Weapon: Hatchet
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack): First Aid Kit, Swiss Army knife, water bottle, lighter, swedish berries
6. Location of choice: Anywhere in province of Quebec, except Montreal
7. Soundtrack of choice : Ain't Worried About Nothing, by French Montana and Blanchissage, from Les Anticipateurs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSIFrC6XhxE
8. War Cry: That ain't classy
9. Last Words: Ain't worried 'bout nun, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn
10. Vehicle of choice: Black Cadillac Escalade, with spinners. Gotta kill with style
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!: Coz life's a bitch and I ain't letting that bitch win 😛
1. Clothing + Gear
Parka for winter weather, ghillie suit, Combat boots, gloves, tuque
2. Primary Weapon
Ak-47 cause it'll never jam.
3. Secondary Weapon
Desert Eagle
4. Melee Weapon
Chainsaw Yolo.
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
First Aid Kid, Water Bottle, Flashlight, Lighter, Serated blade Knife
6. Location of choice
The Principality of Sealand
7. Soundtrack of choice
AC/DC Greatest Hits
8. War Cry
Wakka Wakka!
9. Last Words
I wouldn't die, so I don't have last words.
10. Vehicle of choice
Pimped Out Golf Cart, Sealand isn't big enough for real cars.
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
Because I'm da best.
1. Clothing + Gear
Shirt, shorts and flip flops..
2. Primary Weapon
Big pointy stick.
3. Secondary Weapon
Smaller pointy stick.
4. Melee Weapon
My hands.
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
Spare pair of pants and socks, box of rizlas, 10,000 Cigarettes, 3kg of weed.
6. Location of choice
Burton Upon Trent, a brewery town.
7. Soundtrack of choice
The best of Spandau Ballet
8. War Cry
Anyone got any roach?
9. Last Words
Anyone got a lighter? I forgot to pack one.
10. Vehicle of choice
Canal Boat Catamaran .
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
I'm DC, we survive anything...
1. Clothing + Gear
- Boardshorts + singlet
- Folding chair
- Stubbie cooler + esky full of beer
2. Primary Weapon
- Bottle opener
3. Secondary Weapon
- BBQ
4. Melee Weapon
- BBQ tongs
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
- Potato chips
- Pork rinds
- Sun cream
- Cricket bat + ball
- Boom box (for the party of course)
6. Location of choice
- Secluded tropical island inhabited by a tribe of submissive females
7. Soundtrack of choice
- http://youtu.be/9n5G0qFBsHM
8. War Cry
- Pass another beer love
9. Last Words
- Such is life
10. Vehicle of choice
- Quad bike
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
- I'm Homer J Simpson
duff beer. can kill everything 😁
1. Clothing + Gear
Bikini and aviators to watch the world burn in style and get a tan at the same time 😉
2. Primary Weapon
witty remarks
3. Secondary Weapon
skippy the kangaroo
4. Melee Weapon
Hard penis
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
- Aviators
Sun tan lotion
4 pack of beers
litre of vodka
cuban cigars
6. Location of choice
Anywhere you are 😉
7. Soundtrack of choice
Always top gun 😉
8. War Cry
Tally ho chaps
9. Last Words
You will never get this (borat quote)
10. Vehicle of choice
Surf board
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
Because I'll have you 😉
1. Clothing and Gear
-Leather Armour
2. Primary Weapon
-M16 Rifle (Three shot) with a scope and silencer.
3. Secondary Weapon
-Barrett .50 Cal
4. Melee Weapon
-An umbrella
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
- First Aid Kit
- Night Vision Goggles
- Water purifier
- Throwing Knives
- Homer J Simpson's Address
6. Location
-Australia (Zombie Kangaroos?)
7. Soundtrack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIWLIUwe1tE
8. War Cry
- For Narnia!
9. Last Words
- Stay Golden, ponyboy.
10. Vehicle of Choice
Dartz Kombat T98 SUV
11. Why You should be a survivor
Believe me, you'd rather have me on your side than on the other.
PS. I might do a Christmas version of this 😛 Not zombies ofc.
Santa Apocalypse?
Clothing : au natural Gear : these Guns oh yeah *kisses biceps*
Primary weapon : my bare hands
Secondary weapon : improvised spork
Melee weapon: *refer to the first weapon
Inventory items : emergency condoms , hey you never know
Location : nudist beach
Soundtrack of choice : I'll just hum "oh susana" the entire day
Warcry : Ha ha ha ha Staying alive !
Last words : I can't die yet I still haven't married your sister yet
Vehicle of choice : Tricycle
Why : I'll annoy you in the afterlife
Oh yeah don't even try to beat me 😃DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
How about a trade, I give 4 gold you give 5, see everybody happy 😃DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
1. Clothing and Gear
Chainmail over hazmat suit
2. Primary Weapon
Carbon fibre pole with titanium spike on one end and double bladed titanium battle axe on the other
3. Secondary Weapon
Flamethrower
4. Melee Weapon
Kinda redundant don't ya think!
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
Adrenaline stims
Naptha (gotta keep the flamethrower going)
water
Anti-Personnel mines
Skittles (what I like skittles!!)
6. Location
Tree house in the woods just outside of town
7. Soundtrack
another one bites the dust (added benefit, it has the perfect rhythm for doing CPR on a mate)
8. War Cry
Burn Baby Burn!!
9. Last Words
Burn Baby Burn!!
10. Vehicle of Choice
Dodge Viper, cause I am so gonna get at least one more joyride in one before I go!
11. Why You should be a survivor
I'm gonna be a survivor, only real question is whether or not I will be on your team.
Oh and when the zombies come for us you don't have too outrun the zombies you just have to outrun me!
I don't trust you because of your profile description!
Ooops, forgot all about that, fixed it to be correct 🙂
A wise plan indeed \o/
1. Clothing + Gear
A suit fit for James Bond + spares, incl shoes, cufflinks, sunglasses, bathing suit.
2. Primary Weapon
Flamethrower
3. Secondary Weapon
All purpose power tool
4. Melee Weapon
Dueling cane
5. 5 Inventory Items (REALLY LARGE backpack)
1x German Shepherd
1x Unlimited Booze
1x TemujinBC
2x Most attractive non-zombie women
6. Location of choice
Somewhere in the carribean sea close to deserted islands
7. Soundtrack of choice
All of Ray Charles
8. War Cry
I am Jack's Smirking Revenge
9. Last Words
N/A (dies of old age during sleep)
10. Vehicle of choice
Yellow Submarine
11. Why YOU should be a survivor!
Most intelligent solution provided so far. Primary weapons convertible to multi-purpose tools which can be used to create a better life for the community I manage to save. Clearly a bro and the most classy of all zombie survivors.
I also recommend Addy Lawrence be on your team alongside me.
There is 1 critical flaw with your primary weapon..
http://goo.gl/cXjv11
I'm not using it against zombies.
oooh... 😉 Ok
1: Clothing and Gear: Light and maneuverable all terrain tactical suit. Includes light armored plates/pads/what the f*** ever.
2: Primary Weapon: Basic Assault Rifle (i.e.,MP5, FAL, AR15). A rifle which has a common ammunition so as not to run out and make it essentially useless. Something with good range and stopping power. Needs to be easily cleanable/fixable/maintainable. (preferably with silencer)
3: Secondary Weapon: A common sidearm (i.e., Glock Model 17, M1911, etc). Same reasons as above, common ammunition, easy to maintain.
4: Melee Weapon: The Lobotomizer. http://prntscr.com/2c11sx . Winner because it can slash, slice, smash, or club anything. Doubles as a shovel, or an axe (for axe purposes). Winning Tool.
5: Inventory Items: Teapot, or other cooking/water boiling item.
Ferrocerium Rods, or other fire-starting tool.
Medium Knife, not overly large but large enough for rougher tasks requiring a knife.
First-Aid Kit.
Working Radio+Spare Batteries.
6: Location of Choice: http://prntscr.com/2c13oh Or if we were in Zombie Territory, something like this: http://prntscr.com/2c146t
7: Soundtrack of Choice: I'm feeling alot of ACDC...I don't know why 🙂
8: War Cry: FOR SCIENCE!
9: Last Words: If death from Zombie conversion "Respawn in 3...2...1..." If death by other causes making me not become a Zombie: "GG"
10: Vehicle of Choice: http://prntscr.com/2c0zw3 or something land and sea-ish...Hovercraft maybe?
11: Why YOU should be a survivor!: Yolo Swaggins, and "I love Blood and Violence!" and cuz we're bros dawg.
1. Clothing + Gear
A Wal-Mart uniform. Zombie camouflage.
2. Primary Weapon
Crossbow. Can't reload a bullet after you fire it.
3. Secondary Weapon
Flame thrower.
4. Melee Weapon
20 pound sludge hammer
5. 5 Inventory Items (backpack)
Utility knife.
Dynamite
Rope
Towel
iPod
6. Location of choice
A Canadian bar. A very well stocked Canadian bar.
7. Soundtrack of choice
http://youtu.be/BX-7BlRc_a0
8. War Cry
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?
9. Last Words
I regret nothing.
10. Vehicle of choice
500-hp 2014 Chevrolet Camaro Z/28. 500 horsepower! Oh yeah.
11. Why YOU should be a survivor! I can re-procreate the species. Lots of practice. Just send me in coach.
There is 1 critical flaw with your secondary weapon..
http://goo.gl/cXjv11
I'll use if to fast cook a wienie roast. That way I can still enjoy hotdogs on the run.
How are you gonna strike at a bunch of zombies if you have to lift a 20 pound sledgehammer every time, you'd be zombie chow after hitting around 7, plus imagine having to carry that around with you 😛