Gnilraps vows to eliminate Kale if elected to Congress
Gnilraps
Day 3346 of the New World
January 17, 2017
It has recently been discovered that Plato is, in fact, responsible for Kale.
The disgusting substance could not have possibly been created by any benevolent creator, leading intrepid newspaperman Gnilraps to conduct extensive research into its genesis. After much research in the deep web, Gnilraps was able to unearth a video of Plato claiming responsibility for the violent attack on humanity known as "Kale".
"Yes, you fools! It was me all along," the dark lord Plato said in the pirated video allegedly caught by master_rg during his recent visit to eRepublik Labs in Bucharest. “Who else do you think could have deceived people into paying tons of money for horrible, overpriced organic kale chips and salads?”
This last verbal salvo was followed by a deep, sinister, malevolent laughter.
Noting Plato's established record for deceiving people into paying tons of money for other horrible, overpriced items such as "packs" and "energy bars", Gnilraps confirmed his assumption that the video was authentic.
Not wasting any time, Gnilraps immediately declared for Congress in the USWP, vowing, "I will work my ass off to remove all kale from our reality. Nobody should ever be confronted with the decision even to have to sniff it, let alone ingest it into his stomach or drink as part of some cruel excuse for a beverage."
"Only Plato, the Father of Lies, could have ever been responsible for fooling anybody into eating this disgusting plant." Gnilraps continued. "He's probably responsible for Quinoa and Kombucha too."
16 Shells strongly recommends that any and all eUSA citizens cast their votes for the USWP slate of candidates, all of whom Gnilraps has sworn to lead in a massive lobby against kale.
"eUSA has done so much for me," exclaimed Gnil, "now this is the least I can do in return. Kale, and its evil mastermind Plato, must be stopped."
"Oh, and no more pumpkin flavored beer either." Gnilraps concluded, essentially guaranteeing that his spot on SCI was secure.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking
Comments
Down with Kale!!!
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2628193/1/20
And Plato too.
too scared to join in on the Jew baiting?
v
Nothing that is suppose to be that good for you can actually be any good for you.
Have we learned nothing from big tobacco?
Thank you for your courageous stand against this vile scourge!
Bro, do you even Kale? It's delicious in my juices 😃
A vote against kale is a smart vote in my book.
Some of us like kale :/
they will also be eliminated.
hahaha nice
No Kale, Quinoa, Komboucha or pumpkin beer. That sounds like a unity platform to me.
Just leave it alone ill kill any man who comes for my Kombucha!
Proper preparation of a kale smoothie requires it to be filtered through a hipster's beard and then served in a Converse sneaker with the laces undone.
Kale has already spread to the potatoes.
https://www.google.ie/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=colcannon
stop it before it infects the corn
You can go on your rant about kale you dictator but leave kombucha alone i make my own and it is delicious my kombucha tastes like apple juice. As a matter of fact im making some today just try and stop me... FREEEDOM!
Stop being a baby and eat your kale
I voted and endorsed.
Mafiosi have dominated eBrasil, I'm leaving eRep..
Companies only 8 golds.
Sell companies houseQ1 in Washington only 9 golds and returning 1 gold.
Sell companies foodQ1 in District of Columbia only 9 golds and returning 1 gold.
https://www.erepublik.com/br/article/-bn21-empresas-por-8-golds-companies-only-8-golds--2628253/1/20
.
While you secret consider kale disgusting, and an invention of Plato's criminal mind, you should tell to girls "I adore it and I know like a thousand ways to cook it... it's so good for skin and against free radicals!". It works, believe me! It gives you something that Johnny Depp doesn't have (I am not talking of etherosexuality).
Kale is wonderful food! I will protest your election lol.
However, Plato causes constipation.
I demand to be voted into Congress!
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2628215/1/20