[UKRP] It's all Garbage, plus free tanks!
WookieO
Everyone else is doing it…
So the UKRP has gone a little article crazy recently. This is down to the election of our Forever Emperor, the right honourable Fataliix, who has immediately instilled in us a passion for promoting our party, posting naked pics of ourselves through our neighbours’ letter boxes and of course listening to as much Garbage as possible.
Admittedly my musical tastes haven’t really matured much since the late ‘90s, so having Garbage pouring incessantly out of the UKRP HQ’s speakers is literally music to my ears. Along with the usual day to day goings on in the party, we’ve noticed an upsurge in groot, a proliferation of randy patties and a significant decline in hamsters.
The important thing to take from all of this is that the United Kingdom Reform Party is the place to be if you want to waggle your wanger, tinkle your todger or even shuffle your truffle. We open our arms to all and our legs to even more.
If you don’t find a home in the UKRP, then you must have stumbled into the UKPP by mistake. Get out QUICK! It’s full of spiders and clowns and tax inspectors.
I think I’ve covered all the salient points in this short article, but I must mention Congress before I finish.
For the last few months the UKRP has offered up unparalleled Congress lists, potential candidates that would have brought magnificence and splendour along with some chicken and chips to the eUK’s Congress. However we’ve often only secured enough votes to send a smidgen of the number of Congressmen through and so the eUK has suffered.
I don’t mind which party you’re in, but when the 25th rolls around, like Fataliix’s Mum in the bath, remember to vote for the UKRP and its shining knights. We’ll bring cake...and probably some cheese too.
If you’ve gotten this far, then you deserve a prize! The first 25 people to comment will each receive 5 Q7 tanks for your trouble because despite my best efforts I’ve yet to complete these bloody journalist missions.
Thanks for reading, listening to all the Garbage tracks and understanding my needs and wants.
WookieO
UK Reform Party Secretary General
Royal Whipping Boy
Hairiest Dentist
Comments
Bend me, break me, anyway you need me, all I want is you...
Bend me, break me, breaking down is easy, all I want is you...
Bitch please, I aint even got the missions yet...
Send me tanks, more than 5 you cheap skate bastard!
They've been annoying me for so long.
I sure want those 5 q7 tanks! 🙂
And you shall have them, by Jove!
Thanks!
Cheesecake would be good, bring that and my vote is secured.
🙂
You're asking a lot there! Cheesecake...sounds a bit posh to me 😉
+1 comment for you.😉
Thanking you kindly.
I love you Wook, but I'm worried about how late you were working on this. Are you okay? How are things on Kashyyyk?
To be honest, I'm a wookie on the edge, old bean.
Kashyyyk's getting me down, I have no idea where any of my socks have gone and most importantly my beloved VHS copy of the wondrous Michael J. Fox film "The Secret of my Success" has been nicked.
It's been a disastrous week.
o/
o/
v59
Cheers 🙂
Free Tanks!!!
Free tanks indeed! Sent o/
I got them, I don't know why I'm so excited to get a couple of tanks
(I feel like I'm a baby inside)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Tanks Thanks.
No, tank you 🙂
I'll comment then.
And you shall be rewarded! o/
Tanks for comments? How very 2014 🙂
I know right? I usually write reasonable articles, but have I managed to get 25 comments without bribes? No siree Bob.
Me too. Maybe the secret is to write sh*t articles instead - make people angry and offended.
o7
o7
I want that carrot and the tanks please o7
I'm afraid the carrot's long gone...but have some tanks instead!
v+
Cheers o7
Tanks? Yes please
Lovely jubbly.
The original ch-ch-ch-cheese.
Shirley Manson covered in mozzarella. Mmmmmm.....
o7
o7
v74 ❤ UK
Ho ho ho!
Damned journo missions - they are a REAL pain!
Hopefully this comment will speed you on your way to successful completion!
CC
And voted you up too
Nice one 07
o7
Diamond o7
TANKS TANKS TANKS! 🙂
Tanks!
This is a comment
It most certainly is!
Hmm UKRP where they're all hairy, or UKPP where the girls are a smooth as a baby's bottom...?
I know which one I would choose 😛