Loose Cannon #138
Jimmy Cincinnati
Issue #138
Important Congressional Update:
Congress signup was held yesterday. No big changes, so far.
However, there is reason to believe that some depraved people are plotting against the eUS. If you are oversees; you should get to Colorado.
That Big Wheel:
I was looking for an interview with a member of the executive. My search lead me to the big wheel and I've taken a spin. As a result; I've got to rename the top 5 parties. I'm using 80s hairbands for inspiration.
#1. Federalists:
I would change it to Topaz Fist.
#2. USWP:
It would be, Underwear Soaked With P!$$.
#3.SFP:
That will change to Space Freeway Pirates.
#4. Black Sheep:
They'd be The Sacrificial Sheep.
#5. WTP:
Wild Things Promenade
I've paid my dues and I'll be staying away from that wheel, from now on.
Comments
The Wheel of Misfortune can be a cruel thing my friend. The Finger Flinging She Devil must be obeyed.
I was compelled.
Mötley Crüe or GTFO
Don't fight it, Jimmy. The wheel calls to you with her siren song. Just surrender.
I love you