Introducing

Day 2,408, 02:26 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Releasethe Krakken

We have Dio Brando and his sect of dio'ist we have krakken an immense and awesome sea monster that controls all teh elements simultaneously and spellz english words incorrectly to peeve off ppl and NOW let me introduce eVlad Putin with his awesome motto eVlad manlier than you!



Born in the snows of Siberia by A egg of the last GIANT EAGLE (now extinct)and raised till 5 yo by wolves eVlad was president of his kindergarten primary school ,high school and university before mother Russia begged him to become his country. As mother and father of the nation Vlad dont edict laws. Laws are mysteriously formed to make mother Russia more manly.

little known facts of eVla😛

:- His sperms is so manly he is incapable of producing female offspring.

:- His sperms dont run they walk casually to the area and then holler "yo baby mama we are here" before beings swarmed by female egg cells. In a strange reversal of normal production its the first egg cell that reaches the sperms that determines the child.

:- eVlad dont apply to become CP countries apply to be under his control.

:- Everyone within a 25 km radius of eVlad appears to be female in comparison to eVlad even the cast and crew of the Expendables



Here is a letter one of the cast members wrote him



:- In a strange study it was found that all woman within his immediate presence actually gets younger by the secon😛

This is picture of eVlad wife before she met him



Here she is now :



The reason for the divorce was she would turn embryonic in another year if the marriage continued.

:- Although eVlad cant really perform miracles his presence has strange effect ergo this newspaper article



:- Death sends him a christmas card each year as he "dont want that man against me!"



:- Vlad dont create account his account will come into existence when the game is good enough to handle his manliness.

:- Plato will then send him a million gold and all eCountries will apply to be ruled by him as Vlad knows best.

:- Vlad was about the beat all opponents in the World Cup for Russia but had to take the week off to cool down emotions after Michelle Obama visited him 2 weeks ago.

:- All bodily functions of Vlad act in an organised and manly fashion. Sweat forms a peloton and dripsmarch in single file down his body.

TEH END

If you have further infor on the subject please reply below in the co-mints.