Proclamation of a United Ireland

Day 749, 05:32 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Brian Boru

IRISHMEN AND IRISHWOMEN: In the name of the Flying Spagetti Monster and of the dead generations from which she receives her old tradition of nationhood, Ireland, through us, summons her children to her flag and strikes for her freedom.

Having organised and trained her manhood through her secret revolutionary organisation, the Irish Volunteer Force, having patiently perfected her discipline, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that moment, and, supported by her exiled children in America and by gallant allies around the world, but relying in the first on her own strength, she strikes in full confidence of victory.

We declare the right of the people of Ireland to the ownership of Ireland, and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible. The long usurpation of that right by a foreign people and government has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the Irish people. In every generation the Irish people have asserted their right to national freedom and sovereignty: three times during the past two years they have asserted it in arms. Standing on that fundamental right and again asserting it in arms in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the Irish Republic as a Sovereign Independent State occupying the entirety of the island of Ireland, and we pledge our lives and the lives of our comrades-in-arms to the cause of its freedom, of its welfare, and its exaltation among the nations.

The Irish Republic is entitled to, and hereby claims, the region of Northern Ireland as a integral part of the Irish Nation. Until our arms have brought the opportune moment for the seizure of this region, the Irish Volunteer Force shall seek to prepare the Irish state for the liberation of our lands from Saxon hands.

We place the cause of the Irish Republic under the protection of the most holy Flying Spagetti Monster, whose blessing we invoke upon our arms, and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by cowardice, inhumanity, or rapine. In this supreme hour the Irish nation must, by its valour and discipline and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the common good, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which it is called.

Signed,

Brian Boru,
Chief of Staff of the Irish Volunteer Force.

Patton,
Chief Bad Ass of the Irish Volunteer Force.