Historic Celebrations Spark Joy

Day 4,149, 16:15 • Published in USA USA • by Pfenix Quinn
Historic Celebrations Spark Joy


Dateline iRL: 1-April-2019, iER Day 4150



Legions of eRepublic players all over the virtual world are dancing in the streets. Lions are laying down with lambs. And according to sources too deeply embedded to be named at this time, there have even been reports coming in that one or two members of the WTP and the SFP have exchanged civil greetings with each other!

What is causing a storm of sparks of joy throughout the known e-Universe?



Is it the recent release of Comrade Elon Musk’s rap-solid retort to the fake-Dioist heresies, upholding in song the legacy of the sainted hero of the freedom-socialist forces, Harambe: RIP Harambe?

Yeah, let’s all take a moment to sway in unison and chill to comrade Musk’s thoughtful remembrance that has taken both worlds by storm… and let’s sing that thoughtful refrain altogether….

“All y'all, all y'all gorillas, we love you
R.I.P. Harambe
Sippin’ on some Bombay (Ayy)
We on the way to Heaven Amen, amen

R.I.P. Harambe
Smokin' on some strong, ayy
(That strong) In gorilla zoo
(In a zoo)

And we thinkin' about you (Thinkin' about you)”







But no. Actually. As a matter of fact. That’s not it.




Is it the all-round victory of the United Front Against e-Fascism? An extraordinary effort at proletarian-led solidarity, united behind the invincible revolutionary political line of Comrade-President Max Planck and the Socialist Freedom Party, the turbo-engine of the e-Global Anarcho-Syndicalist Movement, which has resulted in freeing the e-USA from permanent occupation?

Well.

Obviously, the freedom-socialist-led politics of joy and solidarity have created a situation where the eUSA is now poised to re-enter the world community of e-nations as a responsible friend and partner, after years of suffering under fake-Dioist, oligarchic mis-management. (True Dioisim is, as everybody knows, is, in fact, freedom-socialism, also known as civilized anarchy.)

Could this be the reason for the spontaneous outbursts of joy?

The extraordinary widespread popularity of the e-USA’s first openly-socialist President has reached epic proportions, that's true. Along with pulling together a working coalition of all the patriotic militias and parties, uniting all who can be united to achieve this e-world-historic break-through in political and military strategy, whilst promoting liberation from alienation, it has been said, but not yet proven experimentally, that Comrade-President Planck also resolved, in his spare time, at least as a thought experiment, a number of tricky problems relating to e-string theory!

Certainly these are reasons to celebrate!

Numerous correspondents have written in to this journal requesting, even demanding, 4-5-6 or more additional Planck terms. One obviously drunk thoughtful reader even suggested that a permanent “Great Leader” position for the august statesman is merited.

In his typical humble way, though, the President-not-for-Life has noted that he wishes to return to his humble calling as an e-rocket scientist and simple theorist of all the universal forces. He has called on all the revolutionary and advanced proletarian forces, as well as all the patriotic parties, militias, artists, intellectuals and other hoi-polloi, to step up their game “in the spirit of Harambe” and contribute their bit to making e-Merika a decent place to raise an avatar, free from the fear of being shot down just because one is a giant commie gorilla.



But no. That’s not it either.




This may or may not be a rare photo of “PQ”, possibly during his brief stint as bass player one night at Raul’s for the short-lived (one night) punk rock sensation, the “Satellites”



Could it be the impending publication of “Phoenix Quinn Predicts”? (Can you contain your joy?) After minutes and minutes of arduous “research” long-lost pages of the infamous windbag’s Prison Notebooks, wherein PQ made auspicious predictions about the future course of the e-World, have been discovered!!!


Here is a taste. The following excerpt was recently uncovered…

“The year is 2050. eRep Day 16,125. In both iRL and iER, everyone is an insufferable communist of some type.

Climate change has been mitigated and due to improved technology and the collapse of exploitation everyone works no more than 15 hours a week.

The rest of time time is spent yelling at each other and playing eRepublik, where mechanics have reached the point where every player has won every possible medal and the SFP wins every election in every country, but it doesn’t make any difference because nobody believes in “countries” any more.

This is both utopian and hellish. We’re happier and healthier… and more miserable.”



Wow!





But nope. As exciting as the discovery of PQ's hidden gems is, also not it.




So. Has Admin announced an exciting new modification to the game!!!! ???




LOL!!


Ha.












Nah. The crowds are full of joy because it is e-bird’s-in-love day, silly!!















And now. Here’s another tid-bit of wisdom from your friendly neighborhood e-proletarian-anarchist thought-leadership collective!

“All the world will be your enemy, Comrade with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, warrior with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.” -- Rich A.