[Queen Derpy] Royally Presidential

Day 6,038, 19:33 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof

The following is an official announcement from the Monarchy of the United States
Cinderella’s Castle, Walt Disney World, Orlando, FL


My dearest compatriots,

Five hundred days ago, I had a great honor bestowed upon me. President Patanok saw fit to crown me as Queen of America, in a grand ceremony attended by all the nations of the world. There, they witnessed my accession, as I was anointed with the Oil of Sand, swore an oath on the Book of Dio, and took my place on the Throne of Nave.

I declared that my e-life would be devoted to your service.

So, let me serve you.





It is past time that we unite the duties of the crown with the powers of the presidency. I intend to serve you this month, not only as your eternal queen, but as your president. As such, I have accepted the Federalist Party Nomination for the Presidency. I believe it to be a fitting opportunity, to mark my quincentenary as your monarch.

You see, I have spent the past 500 Days being very active in doing almost absolutely nothing. This brings a freshness to the office that hasn’t been seen in quite some time. Folks like Danger, Ubuntu, Thee Dude, Herr Voots, The Earl of Seattle, Bob, Shefetzu, Stef40, Melissa Rose, Henry William French, Paul Proteus, etc. have spent countless hours making sure that the country has been successful, running like clockwork.

My vow to them is that it won’t totally fall apart. Indeed, it will be a great month.





After all, that is what we Americans were made for.

Greatness.

Your heart hungers for greatness. Let me be the living bread that will sustain you in this digital wasteland, as you search for that greatness. I am not here to rule you, but dominate you to serve you as best I can.

This was my vow to you 500 days ago, and it is my promise to you today.

Ever yours,