What is going on?

Day 1,220, 14:15 • Published in Belgium USA • by MaryamQ

Hello, eBelgium and beyond,

For the past week I have been thinking about what to say to you and how to say it. Some of you have noticed how quiet I have become and have expressed concern. You know who you are, and I thank you. There are a lot of genuinely good people here. The fact is, I have been undergoing an identity crisis of sorts, fueled in part by politics in eBelgium and in part by real life. Coincidentally, I have witnessed the decisions of other players I admire, at least two of whom are RL grandparents like me (Thomas Keesman and Arjay Phoenician), to leave, not in rage, but to pursue more important things in their lives.

Many of you who know me, know I like to express myself in poetry, and I want to share what I wrote last week while thinking about all this.

The Sum of a Man

Personae we present may not compute
Into a single self-defining sum.
While one might see a colleague as astute,
Another calls him absolutely numb.
The labels we apply do not present
A unified depiction of the whole.
The role that someone plays in one event
Should not be deemed a snapshot of the soul.

Still undiscovered is the kind of math
That tallies up the total of a man
Or calculates the choices in his path
To graph projections of his life's whole span.
For even the great One has many names,
And he does not engage in social games.


So what am I saying here? Am I leaving? No, not exactly, and not yet, but I am stepping back. I do not like the way I felt after the Party President elections. I have been called a traitor by one side and a hypocrite by the other. This is not the way I want to see myself, and it is not the way I want to see Res Belgica. I am not running for Congress this month, and will cut back on my other activities here for now. However, I do want to make it clear that this is not the whole reason for my decision. Some of you know I have some new challenges going on in RL, as well, including starting a training program for a sprint triathlon that I plan to join with my daughters and which I have a great physical and emotional stake in completing. Those of you who remember my original avatar, which was a real photo of me taken at my son's wedding in 2008, will realize that I am not young and I am not athletically inclined. If I am still playing the game at the end of the summer when this is completed, I hope to be able to share a very different photo with you.

In the meantime, I will still be around, but not as active as I have been in the past. I look forward to remaining a part of this community, and hope you will consider wisely and elect the best possible Congress. There are a lot of great candidates out there. Go vote for them!

Oh, and just to show I still love you, have a cookie!




Affectionately,
MaryamQ