TC Weekend in Vegas

Day 1,024, 19:35 • Published in USA USA • by Synesi
Weekend in Vegas, or How I stopped worrying about my missing Officers in Las Vegas and joined in the fun

by Lt. Gen. Morrigan Alexandros

We were in the TC game room bored out of our minds. I had forced everyone to play Monopoly, for 7 hours. I won, of course. I can still feel the evil stares from my Officers. Tired of those bored faces, I stood up and sai😛

"Ok Officers, let's go to Vegas for Labor Day weekend! Go get everyone ready."

There was a flurry of excitement as everyone erupted in "We're going to Vegas baby" cheers and left to get ready with such speed you'd think we never do anything fun. Well, news travel fast in the eUS Military because, as soon as I got to my Dungeon, i.e. office, I get a call from Lt. Gen. Tiacha from the Marines.

"Hey Morrigan, I hear you are going to Vegas, can I join? I need to stop at the Mojave desert."

"Sure T, we are leaving at 1200. We will stop there on the way to Vegas." I said and we hung up.

Everyone got in the Super Bus and we went on to Vegas. Tiacha arrived carrying a HUGE bag. I could detect some movement inside, but decided not to ask. The Marines, you know... As promised, we stopped at the Mojave Desert. Tiacha stepped off the bus with her huge bag, walked a ways into the desert, opened it and I could see a bound and gagged Private Pauly Walnutz of the Marines inside. She gave him a bottle of water, turned around and then stepped into the bus. "Let's go." She said. I looked at her and then at Walnutz' pleading eyes. "Oh well, let's go people," I said, hoping it was merely a Marine's hazing ritual and not something more sinister.


Where we left Pauly.


Vegas baby!

So, we arrived in Vegas and this is when I lost five Officers before even reaching the room. We enter the Bamboo Palace Hotel and then 2nd Lt. Crucifixpandaninja screams "Mommy!" and runs to hug a statue of a panda. We tried to pry him away, tell him it was not real, but he wouldn't budge. As we walk throughout the lobby, we see a wedding chapel. Right then and there, Captain Relorian gets down on one knee and tells General Nuriessa: "Let's renew our vows woman." We all hurry into the chapel to see Nuri and Relorian renew their e-vows in front of an Elvis impersonator who was, at Nuriessa's insistence, pant less. They went to their honeymoon suite and I didn't see them again until we got back to base.


CPN's mom?


The pant-less Reverend Elvis.

I had noticed Captain killerballerina was unusually close to Brig. Gen. Technician. I mean, I can share (not really) but, this was ridiculous. We walk by a conference room and killerballerina steers my Techie inside. "I have a Yoda here!!" she screamed and Techie was suddenly besieged by Star Wars fans. I could not get him out, they were too many of them. "See you at the base Techie!" Then, I glared at killerballerina, she knew what that glare meant. Get him home safe or else.

We finally got to the room, with just a few of us left. There was knocking on the door, it was the Las Vegas police. They said they followed a trail of dead kittens that led them to us. I looked at Brig. Gen. DMJohnston and sighed. The police questioned him and he said nothing. They took out a kitten out of the bag and DMJ was as serious as he could be. Then, they showed him a picture of the fall of the Berlin wall and he smiled. Well, you probably know what happened to the kitten. They took him to the police station for further questioning. Apparently, one of the dead kittens belonged to the major's daughter. Of course, Lt. Col. Karll Hungus, the other half of the bromance, chased after DMJ. So far, this trip was not turning out that well.


It's a scientifically documented fact.

2nd Lt. SharkJuggler came in as they were taking DMJ out. He was wearing a fishbowl in his head to be able to breath whilst out of the water. "I found some college students and we are going to play some Shark Pong! I'll see you guys later." Apparently, the objective of Shark Pong was to get the ping pong ball into Sharkie's fishbowl.

So, there I was, the only one left. When did I loose Tiacha? I have no idea. She just, was not there. Marines... I went down to the Casino and noticed a throng of pant less men carrying bananas. I followed them to a side room and what do I find in the middle? Retired General Bia Pandora and CJCS, gorilla macho, jankems. Bia was sipping some tasty drinks and jankems was eating bananas. I approach, "So, this is retirement, huh Bia?" She exclaimed "Morri! Join us!!!"

Well, that is exactly what I did. I joined the revelry and spent a great weekend in Vegas. What else happened? I cannot say. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. As I was leaving the hotel, I saw CPN still clutching the panda statue. I left some bamboo shoots and left.


Is this what is left of Pauly?

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