The Black Hole of Hate
Rylde
Ever walk into a court room for a custody case and have the judge ask you why you kept your daughter in your care?
Then reply because im the dad and dumbfound him and watch as he just kinda nods like ok good answer like Raphael from the original ninja turtles..
Thats when you know your already behind in society. I felt it first hand, a father was nothing in the eyes of the court.
I fought hard for my 50-50 of both my childs and won in both respects.
After our break up my ex has 2 children with my closest friend and cousin during Covid. Like he was my best friend. After 5 years together she gets instant knocked up within a month of seperation.
Im so angry and so bitter and so f*** you. My best friend with my love.
3 Years later
I'm not over this and my now 7 year old comes to tell me about her siblings and im not doing it right. She wishes to tell me about her other home life but i cant bear to hear it.
I had a dream that woke me up to write this. I have close friends and family but i didnt want to tell them as this is weird to me and obviously im not over her or this situation.
I had a dream and begged her back even though she had 2 kids with my best friend. I begged hard that we could be like we were before and we kissed like our lips were wet with the dew of a northern morning, then she said she had to go.
I've been dreaming of her off and on and last night was the first time I agreed with the dreamer.
I didnt feel that bad when i woke and knew it was time to move on. The pit in my stomach finally didnt hurt that much. Took 3 damn years.
Im no saint in this story I cheated and didnt get caught, i worked and drank to much at times and ignored what i had.
Ive just felt so empty and depressed at times over this time and the only thing that kept me sane was my 2 girls.
I hope the next time lil Anna tells me about her lil siblings i dont do it wrong.
This game, this game, its always been nothing but an outlet for all of us. Im not the Villain I try to be or a racist. But i'll play the role to get under your skin.
Thankfully this is the ass end of it all and just finally starting to come to terms with losing a best friend and a long term partner. Wish it had gone down diffrently and i think its the best friend part that hurts the most which didnt allow the end of the relationship aspect of this to heal properly.
Comments
It takes time to heal, no mather what. I kinda knew that you are having hard times, but not that much. But you are not the only one. Like Robin Williams said, "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, Be kind"
Is simple. Be kind, play fair and you will be fine, but you choose the hard way and then bragging about... and my favorite quote is "You create your own universe as you go along."
I hope you will get over her for real and move with your life. If you ever loved her, you will wish the best for her, even thats is not you. Maybe you think you are going to be the best for you, but thats just your thinking and to go back together like it was before, thats not happening. Nothing is going to be like before because, "No man ever steps in same river twice, for its not the same river and he's not the same man".
Thankfully this is at the ass end of everything and coming to terms with it.
Just don't do stupid things, like here for example. Just move on with your life and see the good side of everything. Life is up and down, but life is a karma. Get away from trouble, think positive and good things will happen, i can promise that.
I have had similar things happen in my life. I am lucky to be with a supportive woman that I love now... but during the dark times, I have always had my daughters, they are the light. They'll always give you the strength you need. Do it for them.
You fought and tried hard for your kids.
My wife's ex couldn't give a fiddlers fuck about his two boys. Hasn't seen 'em in years. No birthday calls or christmas cards, not even so much are a "fuck you"
Onward we go.
You've got it made my friend. The last thing you want is some swingin dick from the past coming by every other week undermining the way you are raising your step kids. The only single mom I ever gave a serious chance to was one where the Dad was from Alberta and totally out of the picture. Nobody needs that non stop drama in their life
Gotta find a new one, I'd recommend you get an old asian woman to take care of you and all your wordly aches
comment... o7
In the scheme of things my problems probably arent that big but i guess i just felt like unloading the stress without having to pay the 100 bucks an hr lol.
Dude...
Please give me a minute. I'm wrapping my head around your situation, try to understand where I'm coming from. I've explained my physical/medical condition, if someone doesn't know, PM if interested. The dirty little secret is my friends and family. I left the nursing home because my cousins begged me "Oh please! Come live with us, we love you.". All they had to do was take my shoes and socks off, check my feet. In the morning I dressed myself but needed help putting on my shoes. Once a week I needed help with a shower. My cousin helped a couple times. After 3 weeks I couldn't stand the blaring tv, calling me a liar, blaming me for taking missing items while my things came up missing one at a time. I was used to living in my Durango so I left. Now I live in the nursing home again. Had my foot cut off due to gangrene, therapy ran out before I got a prothesis... But I did get a shiny new electric wheelchair, thanks medicaid.
Interesting note...
Family, friends of 30 - 40 years, Church members never visit. A few called... once. I met this girl at the local park. She walked up wanting to know if I'd like to visit. She has came by to visit 3 times in as many months. I go to the local grocery every week and other customers I've spoke to before wave and smile.
As to your problem, you will have to find your own way. It would be nice is someone could wave a magic wand to solve the situation. They can't. My suggestion would be to look for solutions, they might be right in front of you. I love it when I'm out in public and people don't react to the wheelchair, they react to me.
Continue to love your girls. Let them know you love them.
"Continue to love your girls. Let them know you love them." best comment.
Hug.
Its is nice to be able to unload real life problems on a group that doesnt know you. No bullshit Dill I'd care for you. 1000 USD a month I wouldn't wipe your ass but 2 squares a day and a clean room. You cook your own breakfast
Wheat Chex or Grapenuts?
Also, I could rent a girl for $50/hour to wipe my ass that would be a lot more fun. 😎
5min later ???????????
[removed]
I hate to say it because It's so not like me to have little to no empathy but.....I've been there.Still; after all the venom I've experienced from you for absolutely nothing over these many years, (and I've never retaliated because i'm not petty that way). i would say it is very karmic. Not that I'm saying you deserve it; cause I don't know that i feel anyone does... but you pretty much made your bed it would seem from my vantage point.
I sincerely hope you can at least experience some growth/healthy wisdom from it all though.
I'm expecting venomous retaliation but don't much care, cause i know i dont speak to be hurtful. Its just putting thoughts out there.
I honestly hope too; this does not crowd fund hateful outburst towards you as well cause that could get nasty and I would not like that either.
Your allowed to feel what you feel not gonna try to take that away from you. Like i mentioned above im at the ass end of all this now and the girls have kept me sane and given me some semblance of purpose when i was in dire need of it.
Also the said events happened over 3 years ago mid 2019 and I never returned to the game until late 2020. So your karma doesnt really play into this.
considering I have seen the behavior since i got here in 2018 I think it surely does apply. I was not referring to any recent events. after all. in recent years it seems you do more targeting than when i first got here....but all the same. It looks like maybe you are at least making efforts. I commend you for that at least.
Time will tell
I wasnt around in 2018
I could romance you miss Grin, Dont tempt me.
2016-2020 was quiet my love
Best wishes for you and your lovely kids 😉
I dont make ugly kids.
All your excuses are bullsh!t.
You're popularly known to be a troll and an a-hole.
I distinctly remember trying to have a conversation with you, where I actually agreed and empathised with you and you threw racists and bigoted comments my way, just to hurt me. Even Turks and Eastern Europeans haven't been as vile as you.
Your folks might feel empathy for you and share positive words.. but let's be frank, they're an awesome and polite bunch from my interaction with them. But you have been the bane on the peace of people who have been different from you.
You got what you deserve mate. I'm not religious. Neither spiritual. But I believe in Karma. For the only reason that you get from the community what you give to your community.
I hope your daughters find peace. You have a lot of work to do on yourself.
You are unfair, not to Rylde, but to Turks and Eastern Europeans! People are the same everywhere and morals and education have no boundaries, even if the color of the skin, the religion, language or the geographical area they come from is different
I have met Turks and Eastern Europeans with a moral and social nobility that I have not seen in people from "developed" societies
But even so, clichés will always exist, especially with people like you who know how to express themselves even if they are not always right! Anyhow, good speeh buddy.
Cheers!