Scandal in the White House?
![USA](http://www.erepublik.net/images/flags_png/S/USA.png)
Gulden Draak
Greetings, and welcome to this edition of The Paper Mache. Today, I have some shocking and disturbing news to bring to you. It appears that an act of sexual misconduct has occurred between our POTUS Krems and one of his staff members. To my knowledge, allegations of such sexual deviancy have never occurred before in this game so this is truly bizarre news. The staff member who was abused, came forward last night to tell his side of the story. While he asked me not to share his name, I can tell you he is in the cabinet. For the rest of this article we will just call him “Jerry”.
Great President or sexual deviant? Maybe both.
Jerry informed me that late on the night of August 9th, he was called into the Oval Office by Krems for a special meeting. Upon entering the office, Krems informed Jerry that he should get on his knees to receive a special prize. A little confused Jerry asked what this prize was for. Krems informed him that since he was British he had the power to knight people and that he was just going to knight Jerry for doing a great job. After Krems had spoken these words, Jerry readily dropped to his knees in eager anticipation of Krems sword touching his supple young body. It was at this point that Krems did indeed pull out a “sword” ,but it was not the kind of sword that one normally associates with someone knighting someone. No my friends, this sword was of a more veiny variety . Jerry looked up greatly confused as Krems sword grazed his forehead. Krems sensing his confusion looked at Jerry, his eyes almost touching Jerry’s soul, and said, “ I’m going to need you to do me a favour”
Could Jerry resist this?
Jerry was now faced with an important decision. Here was the most powerful man in all of the eUSA showing him special attention, but the favour he was asked to perform was quite unique to say the least. At this time Krems veins were slowly fading from his sword , and he knew he was losing Jerry so he had to promise him something. He walked over to Jerry and said, “If you do this favour for me I will make sure you rank up in the cabinet”. Jerry then realized that success is sometimes best achieved through the tip of the sword and he decided that he should perform this favour for Krems.
After the favour was performed, Krems left the office without saying a word to Jerry. Jerry was left on the floor of the office confused and thirsty. Days then passed, and Krems has yet to fulfill his promise of ranking Jerry up in the cabinet. Jerry became greatly frustrated and decided to come to me with this story. After Jerry had told me his side, I decided to confront Krems on the issue. Krems replied to my question with his fist clenched and his thumb slightly sticking out and said, “ I did not have sexual relations with that man”. Upon saying this Krems then left in this van:
He was on his way to help “welcome” new citizens to the country
Upon relaying Krems response to Jerry, Jerry was infuriated. He told me that he still had the red shirt he wore on that fateful night and that he was going to take it to the lab to get it tested for Krems DNA. We are now faced with an important decision my fellow citizens. If this does come to be true, should we condemn such sexual misconduct or should we just say he is the President and he needs a favour from time to time? The ball is in our court EMERICA and we must decide what to do. Until next time……
Stay thirsty my friends,
Gulden Draak
Comments
1st
😮
lol
I KNEW IT
krems touched me too
;_;
OH NO. 😨
Alexander.... OMG!
glorious
That van was in my article!
Homos in the white house. Nothing new or to condemn about! 😉
The balls are in ur court Emericka
Oh god I am the Emerican dream, stick a spindel up my butt 'till it makes me scream. And my name is Bobby Brown.
tbh I touch Krems a lot
I don't know, that van looks legit and I could sure use some free candy...
If I was 'jerry' I wouldn't have reported abuse. I would have gone and bragged to by bros about how I scored 'big' last night. Just sayin
I am not surprised.
Here I was hoping for something scandalous, like Kremsy ran off with the treasury or sold Florida to the UK.
Given recent events, such as the RL hijinks of Larry Craig (R-ID) and Jim McGreevy (D-NJ), I'm sorry to say this is nothing beyond what I would expect from a leader. I suppose that if Jerry has anything to indignant about, it was that he didn't get offered dinner and a movie first. But he should have bargained for those, first.
Frankly, as long as a sexual indiscretion doesn't involve Eggs Danny Thomas Style, it doesn't even raise an eyebrow anymore.
v for unnecessary britfg Us 👍
Sex and candy = always a winning combination
Voted.
http://youtu.be/YDAXltfj8-Y
I say the president sometimes need a "favor". I mean, he did knight "Jerry" so they both got something out of it.
STONE HIM! HANG HIM!
oh what the hell, i was workin on a series similar to this. Oh well. I guess ill release it anyways, but now im gunna look like i was riding in your wake
Damnit! I'm sorry Choc. Please publish, I'm sure it will be hilarious. The game needs more humour. It may be the only thing that will save us.
I don't understand the problem here. You are all my children and I love you all.
Reguarly.
@ Gulden Draak
>> humour
Looks like Krems has touched you as well with his grace. A LOT.
Jerry is Devan Kronos. There I said it. And honestly, we've all hit that. He's just butthurt that his butt hurts, I guess 😕
that explains where my van went...
Now I know why SK reminds me of my prick of a gay brother...he's a prick too...they do say pricks hang together
So what about the Federal Reserve deposits?
Can this game go any lower ?
Fgts.
yes...much lower...
Brings a whole new meaning to your sign-off. LOL
If I was 'jerry' I wouldn't have reported abuse. I would have gone and bragged to by bros about how I scored 'big' last night. Just sayin Loolmaxxx
The next big news: WHO IS THE FATHER?!
And big news after that: HOW IS THAT BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE?!
that was bizarre
If I was 'jerry' I wouldn't have reported abuse. I would have gone and bragged to by bros about how I scored 'big' last night. Just sayin
x3
Jerry was left on the floor of the office confused and thirsty.
Why do you tell us to stay thirsty when you know thats how Krems favors make people? Is this in support of the potus? I for one shall stay very "NOT-THIRSTY".
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "Mayonnaise."
😮
I will never accept Krems wedding proposal after DIS.
PS: It got my vote 🙂
smack that ass krems!
Stay thirsty Jerry XDDDDD