HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT DO WE DO
TheHypnotoad
OH MY GOD THE COMMIES ARE INVADING! WHAT DO WE DO MR. SEXYFACE?!?!?
That's me. I'm Mr. Sexyface, of course.
Worry not, random person who was unfortunate enough to be sucked into my article, I will show you exactly what to do in 6 easy steps.
1) Relax
You need to be all like....chill, dude. Like this clearly awesome cat.
Simple enough, right? Just catch your breath. Take a break, watch some TV or something. Have a beer, enjoy life. Here, I even got you a picture of a pretty beach that you can imagine you're on doing some cool shit.
All done with that? Relaxed? Ready to move on? Good, let's go to step 2.
2) Panic
What was the point in step 1 you ask? Fuck you, that's what.
Yes, panic. Russia's invading for fuck's sake, what else would you do? I mean, we COULD all look at this rationally and go about our daily lives as we normally would, but where's the fun in that? When in doubt, run around screaming and waving your arms over your head, that's what momma used to say. Oh, also, light shit on fire. What could possibly counter an attack more successfully than a panicky riot? Probably a lot of things, but that's a shitty way of operating.
3) Demand action
Take to the streets, use those shouts, rant on the forum, spam members of congress, bitch to this guy, whatever, just do SOMETHING. Cry about it to anyone that will listen, bitch and moan until we make a tactically retarded, but all the same awesome move like, oh, I don't know, attacking every damn region that surrounds us (sorry Canada).
4) Move to Colorado
Does it have a Q5 hospital? No. Are there valuable resources there? No. Is it a new fortress region? No. However, seeing as Russia invaded once before and couldn't make it past Colorado due to some random kids who apparently rival the Russian army in skill, it seems like it might work again. This brings me to my next point.
5) Join the Wolverines
The logo alone makes me want to join.
This incredibly not fake organization single-handedly stopped Russia from taking over the entire country. So, like, change your avatar or something, fight Russia like a true badass.
6) Disregard that
Yeah, pretty much ignore everything I just told you. While awesome, it's pretty much all a bad idea (except maybe steps 2 and 5).
So, I got bored by the time I made it this far, so that's all you get today. Accept it and go on with your lives (or bitch and moan and be ridiculed next time I feel up to writing).
Comments
We attack mexico. no one is expecting it.
You are more like Mr. Uglyface 😃
Sarah Palin can finally see Russia from her house
Wow, off our meds are we?
lol
Sarah Palin can finally see Russia from her house x2
OMG WE ALL GUN-A DIE!!!!
lol
Thank you for bringing this to the attention of the people, Hypnotoad. You've done a great service to Russian bot/clone-trol...err..
the eUS*
I don't like step 6 much.
They just activated all our MPPs. Time to Invade Russia is what its more like.
HOLY SHIT WTF DO WE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, let's just invade Russia
HAIL eUK!
HAIL eRUSSIA!
HAIL eTURKEY!
HAIL PHOENIX!
Sarah Palin can finally see Russia from her house x3
Good Shit!
YES COLORADO!!!
IM BITCHING AND MOANING BECAUSE I WANT ATTENTION! 😨<
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! PANIC!!!!!!!!! PANIC!!!!!!!!! OMG PANIC!!!!!!!!!
lol
Invading russia is the awesomeness.
Lol!
Russia attacks everyone except for poland, dupes MM2 for free golds to attack poland, gets annihilated, recieves big baby boom? 1. attack everything. 2. ..? 3. Profit!
as much as i want to say lets all go shoot some ruskies and steal their vodka... it may be exactly what they want in the long run :/
We have the man power we just need action
Light shit on fire !!
communism is glorious
Thanks Hypno, for the awesome info. I'm trying to 'change my uniform', NOW...but MS Paint acting up.(Can't wait til I'm a Wolverine...would you mind pming my CO? Thanx!)
@ Pauly Walnutz: EXELLENT idea!
We don't need to panic we just neeed to kick arse.
/me is moving to Colorado......
Hail the russian CP for being a total tactical idiot and getting impeached!
v/s
Why are Russians still regarded as communist? That was so decades ago.
i lol'd
WOLVERINES!
o7
Colorado or bust!
Let's attack ourselves! No one would ever expect that.
i hate lollipops...
& u'r point is?????
amusing...lol wonder how many idiots are going to move to colorado now...
WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ruskies should freeze their a$$es off in their home country!