Ice Cream not Q2 Hospitals: The True Answer to Player Retention
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Ice Cream not Q2 Hospitals: The True Answer to Player Retention
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I have read the debate in regards to Q2 Hospitals and player retention. Both sides of the argument are compelling and informative, but I have come to the conclusion that they are both wrong. The key to citizen retention is NOT Q2 Hospitals!!! The key to retention is FREE ICE CREAM!!!! Have you ever met anyone that did not enjoy the occasional ice cream cone? Me either. I am firmly convinced that if we give each of our newbs a free ice cream cone that they would stick with the game. In fact I am currently offering the eUSA government 100,000 free ice cream cone cards from Dairy Queen to accomplish this goal. Why? Because everyone loves ice cream, and if people love ice cream, then perhaps it alone will keep people in the game.
Does this argument sound a little ridiculous? Of course it does. You know why? Because ice cream (no matter how good it is), would not keep people playing a game that they found uninteresting or without a purpose. This whole Q2 Hospital debate is interesting, but it does not solve the basic problem in the eUSA. Putting more hospitals in the eUSA is essentially treating a symptom and not curing the ill we face as a nation. There is an old saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink!" Evidently the advocates for the Q2 hospitals think that we should bring the water to the horse and cram it down its throat. Our newbies are pm'ed an offered tickets to move to Q5 regions. A lot of them ignore the messages. Why? Newbs are not motivated by hospitals. I am not motivated by hospitals honestly. I never wake up in the morning thanking God I live in a Q5 region. I keep playing because I find both politics and war interesting. I enjoy competing and fighting. For me, that is fun. This country however is slowly dying and the reason is simple: We are bored!!! Honestly, boredom is probably the only reason we are arguing about Q2 hospital placement anyway.
At the moment, we lack a clear defined purpose as a country within the game. We sit around day by day and essentially do nothing. That creates boredom, which people by and large have no tolerance for. If we had a clearly defined purpose as a nation and some actual excitement, I am willing to wager that our retention rates would be far better. Rather than throwing up HAIL MARY's like this Q2 hospital nonsense, how about we ask our elected leaders to give us two or three things to make America better: 1. A clearly defined vision for the future. 2. An honest to God war where there is the potential for a great victory or a great loss to instill a sense of urgency and excitement in people. 3. The educational tools necessary to make our newbs smarter. So essentially education, motivation, and inspiration will save us. It sounds revolutionary and might require some work, but I am willing to wager that is what this nation needs to survive. Think about it.
Comments
first
first yeaaaaa
lol secon😛P
Move to a fortress, get ice cream.
I love ice cream!
Ice cream is delcious, but when everyone has heart attacks from eating too much ice cream, where will be the hospitals?
Ice Cream is delicious!
We all Scream for Ice Cream!
Also, looks like Phoenix is gunning for you (among others) now
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-vote-reportoljuk-az-eden-tankjait-akci--1153106/1/20" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-vot[..]/1/20
I just shit my pants this article is awesome.
first page... 🙂
Well said JF.
Press the button Jewitt!!!
12th :d
HM, how about invading the UK! That would get people interested.
What educational tools are missing?
Anyway, great article! I like birthday cake icecream. It's the best.
I remember when I first started how lucky I was to be in a quality 5 hospital state. If i wasn't I probably would have quit in frustration.
Q2 Hospital is not a water bucket for a horse. It's a life line that n00bs can use to stay afloat until they get more involved within the communities at erepublik.
Well spoken! I couldn't agree more - I loooove Ice cream... and WAR! You're the man Josh!
Voted 🙂
GRF is recruiting
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-grf--1155574/1/20" target="_blank">http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-grf[..]/1/20
MMmmmm...Chockamut ice creems.
voted
innovated josh
voted
voted, hard
i agree totally
I prefer caek.
ya
Are chocolate-dipped ice cream scoops included?
Voted.
Gimme the chocolate!!
currently the horses have no water until someone leads them to it, it is being suggested that a small amount of water be put next to them so they don't die.
"I never wake up in the morning thanking God I live in a Q5 region."
I totally do, and I'm just an org. Besides that, insightful article.
We do have national goals - for example: On day 807 own control of the following regions:
* London,
* South East of England,
* South West of England,
* West Midlands
That motivates me. We have 15 days left.
We need less regions - we are cursed with 51 regions [not including the ones in Asia]. Seriously. If we had an active population in say six super-regions [and that's all we had - no filler] with Q5 everything - like say, Hungary - I guarantee that retention would be better. This game is as much about the social aspect as the war aspect [the war aspect just happens to encourage the social aspect]. The admins need to do something about this.
I do thank the flying eSpaghetti Monster [and Max McFarland 2] for the fact that I have access to a Q5 hospital.
With that, I am glad that you, J. Frost, have taken the more "active" approach which is admitting that we are in the "doldrums" and that something exciting [nay, risky!] needs to happen. I agree with you on that...
... but I still wanna see some hospitals! Ha ha!
Preach it brother!
Voted.
Agreed! I think everyone became tired of the anti imperialism pr. I don't think too many players, particularly early players, care about us winning the hearts of the world in a game. Taking over the UK or South America, however, WILL get people stirred up.
This article is yes.
And can I have some mint chocolate chip?
I've been dying for some lately. ~
boated.
It seems that idea #3 is already in place,and has been for some time. The Welcoming Committee, The Mentoring Program, the NAU....all are in place to help and educate the newer players of erep. The facts are that you can't educate anyone that doesn't want to be educated. We have to get them to stick around long enough to realize that staying in the non-fortress state isn't the way to go. I think that a few Q2 hospitals in a few select states could help.
excellent analogy
If you want to make the eUS fun... join the Imperialist Party.
once again the voice of reason is presented before us
Agreed
I feel educated, motivated and inspired now! Josh Frost for President!
Than you for pointing out that the debate won't help player retention. I've tried to make the same point myself. 😑
I'll buy that for a dollar. 😉
Phoenix cannot into Dairy Queen.
I am still very new to this game. I can tell you I agree with this article. This game seems to offer me nothing. I see an entire wasteland of the US as a motivation to WANT to do something.
People tell me adding hospitals and defenses to the wasteland states would make them more vunerable? More vunerable than a state that has NOTHING?
I still don't understand how the system works as far as invasions and fighting. I have been looking but there seems no good articles about these things. I fail to see how a country with over 95% of it's states are completely defenseless, is a better strategy than, giving them something to bolster productivity, patriotism and industry, and with that many many more things for new players to do and be involved with.
Or hey, here's a ticket. Move to Cali. Click your buttons every day. Good boy. Pat on the head.
Ice cream and WAR!! Let's do it!! : )
Josh, may I have an ice cream cone?
Starting out in a non-hospital state and having to move is such as small piece of the game that I can't see it would have any measureable impact on player retention. We need to make the game more challenging and exciting, not try and dumb it down.
Voted.
esprit de corps max
mmmmm.....ice cream