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^{Thee Dude consulting with the youngest advisors he can find in the eUS}

Dateline: Wednesday, November 17th (Day 5,111)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR
1. Training War Update, Now with Free Bagels
2. The Presidents of Partying Elected, 4 more years of Spiked Punch
3. It's The Economy, Stupid
4. Interview with What a Guy, the only Cabinet Member who hasn't blocked Paul's number



Planes, Train(ing War)s and Automobiles
^{Thee Dude, President of the eUS and also the local beekeeping association, but he's kind of keeping that hush hush}

Hello everyone!

CP Thee Dude here with a quick update about our 20 Training Wars. Yes, we now have 20 TW partners after recently adding the United Kingdom as our newest TW partner. Welcome UK! Now that’s a lot of battles, and a lot of walls to keep straight, but Ya’ll do a great job keeping things rolling in the right direction. Honestly, I don’t have to fix a lot of walls. So thanks!

The downside of having so many TW partners occupying our core regions is raising Determination(Det). For those who don’t know, Det is a battle influence modifier which makes is increasingly harder for the occupier to defend. The longer a country occupies a region, the higher Det goes. Which means that with TWs you have to occasionally move your partners into another region due to high Det.
We are in the middle of doing a big region swap of many of our TWs. There may be temporary disruption of Citizens ability to WAM. But for no longer that 1-2 days. I apologize for this necessary inconvenience, and we will work hard to make this as quick and painless as possible for our Citizens.


^{The WHPR staff read Ping Pong, and then when we realized that this article was not about table tennis, it was too late.}

Many of the TWs will change the regions that are used in the battles. Different regions will be used in the Ping Pongs. So pay attention as these TWs change. Check the Battle Orders on the National Feed, check with your MU, or just ask someone if you’re unsure where to drop your damage. Remember, everything in our cores, UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED, is a Ping Pong. Defender wins.
Thank you for your time today.



Party President Stuff
^{Proud owner of a mostly functional typewriter: Paul Proteus}

This past week, Americans went to the polls to vote. Parties across the country...look when I took this assignment, I thought there was going to be more partying, okay? Turns out political party leadership squabbles involve less drinking and music than one might expect, so let's get this over with.

The We The People Party elected Baby Yoda in a resounding victory. What this means for Mandalorians everywhere remains to be seen.

The Federalist Party elected Centomax in a narrow victory over Lovecraftian terror Cthulhu. This is Cento's second term stewarding the Federalist party.

506 reëlected Ubuntu21 unopposed. Next month, look for an improved Ubuntu22, and then a disappointing Ubuntu Vista

The Black Sheep Party similarly elected unopposed party Baaa-s (pronounced boss, get it? whatever man) Henry William French

In the Socialist Freedom Party, noted cartographer What a Guy edged out RF Williams by one vote, fulfilling the SFP's socialist promise to minimize the Gini coefficient of votes among candidates.

Finally, Patanok remains president of the USWP.

Congrats to the winners in any other parties not mentioned here, due to the national uh supply shortage of typewriter ink. That sounds plausible.



Congress Still Exists, Passes Budget
^{Look, I'm sorry, it's still Paul Proteus}

After getting off to a roaring start electing a Speaker, the eUS Congress has been hard at work signing in and establishing increasingly decreasing quorums. Still, there's more to congress than posting "here" every month until you die...there's also the budget!

A source of much contention in recent months, Congress members have been debating ways to reduce spending after months of heavy spending during foreign occupation. When asked for comment, former CBO director Evry said : "stop quoting me" and current CBO directors DMJ and Melissa Rose both released a joint statement: "Paul, please stop stealing our newspapers, we know it's you."

Still, the WHPR is happy to be the first to report that Congress has passed a new budget. The final budget includes a notable reduction in GIMP spending, and can be seen, along with the discussion, publicly on the eUS forums here.





Interview with the Secretary of Defense
^{Possible Jeopardy answer, What a Guy}

Literature buffs know that I don't shy away from a bit of writing here on eRepublik. Over the years I've turned out Brechtian musical drama, a tell-all memoir, a poem about our citizens, and what is generally acknowledged to be the best eRepublik article of all time.

But all that experience didn't prepare me for the toughest assignment of my career. Legendary hardboiled editor Paul Proteus asked me to tackle the one topic repeatedly turned down by all other journalists, scholars, and singer-songwriters: delving into the mysterious character that is What A Guy (me), acting as the Peter Bogdanovich to my own Orson Welles.

After many long years of strict Freudian analysis, I felt moderately prepared for the exercise, but still concerned over what psychological horrors I might unleash. For What A Guy (me) has an entirely merited reputation as a disarming, wildly charismatic figure who carries dark secrets within. Having lived inside that twisted, brilliant mind my whole life did not make it any easier to understand or accept.


^{WHPR sketch of What a Guy's war room}

I found What A Guy (me) at home in his modest Brutalist flat near the burned out ruins of the former Ministry of Defense, just across from the rising particle board of the new Ministry of Defense. He (I) was in his (my) dressing gown and slippers and seemed well-rested.

WHPR: Good morning, What A Guy. You are looking well.

WAG: Playing for time already? Look, I don't need this. I'm the Minister of Defense of this whole country. I can buy and sell ink-stained schleppers like yourself. Let's stop frittering away our limited time on this Earth and get right to the point. Your readers want to know about me, and I don't blame them. If you don't have any real questions, you can get lost, and let me get back to this Victoria sponge I promised to bake for the Bear Cavalry Veterans Home fundraiser.

WHPR: I apologize, I was merely beginning with social niceties.

WAG: That's the problem with this country. You've hit the nail on the head right out the gate. Everyone wants to say "hello, good morning," but nobody wants to talk about the real issues. Sure, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, but still every day farmers have their gold stolen, every day millions of factory reset tokens lay in rusty heaps. When is the national conversation going to turn to the existential threats against our society? When will we wake up and realize that life is not just An Amazing Journey and that sometimes we must confront the harrowing psychic pain that is the lot of every mortal, and I'm not just talking about the E-Eurovision Song Contest.

WHPR: Well, I'd be happy to --

WAG: Every day there is war ravaging this world, affecting every region, every citizen-soldier. It takes its toll on you. We've all had comrades die right in front of us -- not in battle, they just stop logging in because they're bored. But you never forget that. A little piece of you goes with them, every time. Until you're wandering your rooms in the middle of the night, gaunt and stricken, trying with all your heart to believe that this really is an Amazing Coin and that it balances all the struggle and loss. But do you really believe it? Or is that just a whispered hope at the bottom of a bottle of Q2 hooch?

WHPR: I understand what you mean. Sometimes I feel --

WAG: You need a strong stomach for this kind of work. America honors its aviators, but do you realize that most of them are remotely piloting automated drones? They don't have to look into the eyes of their opponents. It's just some video game to them.

I'm still haunted by those nights holed up in the Oval Office with President Voots during the Great Wipe. With limited resources and troops, we had to choose the regions where we would make a stand and which would be left to the lawless pillagers of the ironically-named CODE. Ultimately, he was the one who had to live with those decisions. He was never the same after that.

Sure, America is riding high now, and the bloodlust of the world is appeased through training wars. But for how long? Can we afford complacency when we know what the enemy is capable of? And, if we're honest, are we that different? There have been war crimes and medal larceny on every side. I want to believe America stands for more than that. We want our creature comforts that can be bought with limited-time event currency, but what about those of out work when the price of weapons crashes and a factory reset token is finally used, moving the old mill out of town? What good is your 10% air rank bonus when the air isn't fit to breathe?

When we will look up from the fine print on our vehicle discharge documents and stop marking time with hard worker achievements and overtime points, and consider what we really want out of our time here?

WHPR: And what would that be, in your view?

WAG: Look, enough questions already. You make me tired.

WHPR: Thank you for speaking with us today.



Birthday Notes:

in this section readers write in who have celebrated their birthdays in the past week:

-Plato, notable philosopher, and crafter of missions, turns 13. To celebrate, he asks that you spend ungodly amounts of money figuring out whatever the Amazing Journey is

-uh Cromstar turns 13 in a week. Ok, yes, I looked that up for this segment so it wouldn't just be Plato. Still, to celebrate, give him Tapioca pudding while dressed in elaborate Rorschach cosplay



Your moment of Zen





[WHPR] Just Like, The Government's Opinion, Man
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-whpr-just-like-the-government-s-opinion-man-2745689

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