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Pfenix Quinn Appointed Media Czarina



^{The gardener known as "PQ"}

tap

tap.. tap.. tap...

Is this thing on?

Right. OK. Hi there, it's me man. PQ. The White House gardener.

Man dunno what's going on 'zactly. Somebody slipped "Minister of Education" credentials into my toolbag while I was sleeping.

Jeez. Last time this happened was way back on Day 1205. During the Glove administration. Yeah. For those who don't translate from e-time to rl-time in their heads, that was... what -- holy moley -- eleven years ago.

Crikey!

Anyways. When I realized what'd been slipped in my bag, I called Paul Proteus right away. It was very early this morning. He did sound like he was still drunk. And I heard like imitation horsey sounds in the background or something. But that's neither here nor there. After listening to me complain and whine for while, in my typical anarcho-socialist way, Brother Paul convinced me to accept the post. With a focus on media more so than actually teaching anybody anything useful. If you catch my drift.

My reply was concise and brief and contained a word that rhymes with pluck.


OK, that's that. Here I am, y'all, awake and caffeinated. So let's get on with it...



Widespread Reports of Dancing in the Streets



^{The wild scene this morning in Philadelphia, Indian Commonwealth of Pennsylvania}

As the sun rose over the East Coast this morning, reports started pouring in of e-revelers taking to the streets to express good wishes to outgoing supremo Thee Dude and to celebrate the glorious ascencion of Kody5 to the nation's top office.

Across all the countries and states of North America, rentiers and renters alike let it rip for a night-long dance party that is still going on in some cities.

From the sub-zero streets of Bismarck in South African Dakota.
To the rocking boulevards of Cleveland in Serbian Ohio.
From the wild beach parties up and down the coasts of the Swedish Carolinas.
To the sonorous flash mob arias arising like a chorus of angels from St. Louis in Macedonian Missouri.
And of course in our nation's capitol of Frankfort, Kentucky, celebrants are swaying and grooving to good ol' traditional country favorites.

In all the proud and feisty Murkin Homeland states -- like California, Texas and Las Vilas -- the story was the same.

Great joy in the morning!

What's it all about? It seems that folks are pleased as punch that former Prez Thee Dude managed to avoid getting us wiped again. And there are high hopes for incoming Champion Kody to do the same. By the way, speaking of champions, according to semi-reliable sources, IRL "Kody" is actually NOT (wink-wink) really the popular actor Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! Really! He's not. (Big stage wink).



House Cleaning



^{Paul Proteus leading the White House staff in a cleaning frenzy}

I first met Paul Proteus (WH Chief of Staff or something, I dunno, but it's super-important) while he was sitting on a bench in Washington Square. It was an encounter that lasted only a few minutes but was very pleasant and sociable. I was there cleaning up rubbish as part of a work-release program, following a brief stint in the pokey due to a misunderstanding between my fist and a so-called literary critic. The Wigstock Festival has ended recently, so there was a good deal of glitter to sweep up, not to mention the torn and tossed piles of wigs.

Anyway. While Paul's business in the Square appeared to be simply to absorb sunshine, I came to learn that he was busy -- as he often is -- plotting world domination.

Few better men (but likely a few more better women, just sayin') could be found to whip the new White House staff into shape. With his experience and drive and his splendid piercing eyes, Paul Proteus is perfectly fitted to carry out President Kody's desire to get more people involved in running around doing stuff and whatnot.

Under the keen gaze of Proteus, a fine group of folks are learning to be the Leaders of Tomorrow. For now, from what I can tell looking in the windows from the garden, they are presently engaged in doing a lot of dusting, sweeping, picking up trash and so on.

Evidently the Thee Dude and Vootsman teams were not terribly tidy.



Gummint Press


According to rumor, there are a number of government-sponsored newspapers. I'm going to commit myself to digging into this and see if it's true or just a nasty rumor.

Watch this space for more info!



xio, PQ