07/06/2011

Day 1,324, 03:21 • Published in United Kingdom USA • by Emerick
Look at this.

Once again, America failed to break the glass ceiling. Technician, a woman presidential candidate in America, lost the election.

To put this in perspective for you, the first female internet president that I can think of was mappina. I'm going to say that was April 2008, in Italy. We Britons, advanced as we are, have allowed women to be president since nearly two months ago. So, why is it so difficult for the yanks?

One wor😛 homophobia.

Now, the question is "Why?" Why is it so hard for women in Yankee Doodle Dandy to come into positions of power? Here's a small piece of trivia for you: the song "Yankee Doodle Dandy", which we Euros derive our pet name for Americans was actually a song made by Americans about us Brits. The song is about a guy named Yankee Doddle who wears feathery caps, rides on ponies, and calls things macaroni for no reason that I can fathom. It's apparently calling us Britons gay, but I don't see how they get off saying that we Britons are effeminate.


This actor is portraying a man of authority in 17th century Briton. Meaning that the British looked at him with respect. I am not joking. Look at that fucking wig.

Anyways, back to a subject which sends me into throes of passion: women's lib.



America has only had 2 women presidential candidates that I can recall - Daphne Lilac and Fionia. Both failed miserably. Some say that this is because Americans are fairly decent at keeping women in their place, what with their large genitalia, masculine features, rippling muscles, hard bodies, full contact sports, deep voices, strong hands, large genitalia, rugged demeanor, and all that nonsense. Pish posh. Anyways, Daphne Lilac had a bit of a chance, because she had an internet romance with Dishmcds, who is a grown man and not 14, so that's not creepy at all. But because of that, she once had a chance in hell to be in atual power. Unfortunately, sweet Daphne was just too emotional and foolhearty to take to top seat.

Really though, Daphne was something you had to see to believe. She was so easy to screw with because she was always such a girl. I felt like, if I could, I would have thrown an internet spider on her, just to see her scream. Because she was just a girl. She was also Asian.

Fionia was a funny one too. I never go to know her as well as I did with Daphne, but I can tell you with complete confidence that, like Ms Lilac, and like most women, she was prone to emotional outbursts and spans of menstrustation. She probably might have had a chance if it weren't for us making a primary and sending as many people as possible to Broatia that election.



Now onto this last election. Our heroess, Technician, was ahead by most of the day. Near the end, though, the old boy's club got together and everyone changed their avatars to direct voters to Keating. That's fairly disgusting. And fairly clear that these were just boys trying to keep the women down, once again.

When will enough be enough?

Personally, I'm calling for a Women on Women Pro-action Party in America. But I'm not leaving the UK to do it. I'm never leaving the UK.



So the Americans failed to break the glass ceiling, yet again. The American voters just don't get it, do they? Electing experienced men is clearly not working. Why not try something else? Oh yeah, Americans are stupid.

Now onto this Keating character. Who is he, you ask? Well, he's regarded by most to be a p cool guy. He's fairly popular on the forums and IRC, knows how to make a joke. He's also been Vice President and Secretary of State this past month. Now, hearing that, I know what you're thinking: That's not change. That's more of the same. I know it is. And frankly, I'm sickened.

Will he do a good job? Is running an internet country at all difficult or taxing? No and no. But you know what? It's a game. Win or lose, who cares(that isn't Baltic)? All that matters is that the people who you like got to do things that they want to do and the people who you don't like didn't. Let's not lose sight of what's important in internet life: delivering disparaging remarks to any and all people who you feel that you can while reasonably getting away with it without having to face any sort of consequences.

THE ARTICLE IS OVER NOW SO GO HOME GOODBYE FRIENDS~



PS- yes, you could say that Krems was the US's first woman president in the same way that people say that Bill Clinton was the irl US's first black president because (~snicker~) he acts like a black man. Because he practices infidelity.