[CHARTICLE] Official Announcement
Chutley
Official Political Announcement
It seems like everyone and his/her mother are running for Congress these days. As a result, I’ve seen announcement after announcement declaring dozens of candidates’ intentions. So I thought to myself, “Chutley – are you really going to sit back and let everyone else hog the spotlight?” Of course I won’t. Apparently I’m an attention whore, if a comment written a few weeks ago from a certain ex-PotUS is to be believed, so I might as well live up to that description.
Plus, passivity isn’t really my style. So I’d like to make an official announcement of my own. Get ready, because it's huge news.
I, CHUTLEY, WILL NOT BE RUNNING FOR CONGRESS
Here is my platform:
Economy
I solemnly promise to continue to have no idea how this works.
I think vats of pegs have something to do with it, and I’m pretty sure something called taxes is involved, but that’s pretty much all I know. And I’m content to remain ignorant. The only time I really care about a Budget is if they’re offering a better deal than U-Haul on moving day.
Military
I promise to be a passive and apathetic observer about the state of our military affairs.
Sitting in the bleachers on this issue is great. It’s like watching two evenly matched ping pong players hit the ball 70 mph back and forth and back and forth. First to infinity wins!
Citizen Requests
I promise to continue to laugh at the Pizza the Hut/Pierce Vaughn debacle.
It makes for some great articles and, honestly, I’m glad that SoB is back. I like watching him think he’s a real PoTUS candidate then seeing how many multis it takes on election day to garner 8% of the vote.
Involvement
I promise to continue to not visit the eUSA forums at all.
Not even once…this whole month. Maybe even the year. You know what, I think I might never visit it again.
Media
I promise to continue to care way too much about my subscription numbers.
I’m this close to doing some sort of contest to at least get me to 600. And by this close I mean not even close.
Bewbs for Newbs
My views on this: deplorable, juvenile, immature, gross…
Oops…
There you have it. I’m not running for Congress. Oh, and I’m doing so in every state. I leave you with this:
Non-Politcally,
Chutley
Comments
I Jon Malcom approve this message.
I'm so not voting for you in the coming election. Maybe not even in the one after that.
First to infinity wins!
And by this close I mean not even close.
I've been Chutled or would that be Chutlied? Whatever it felt great!
You owe me a cup of coffee. And a keyboard. And a monito- oh wait, that's not coffee. Never mind...
\o/ Blocker Justice!
I'm not voting for you : 3
Voted, Commented, Shouted
I promise to continue to not visit the eUSA forums at all.
x2
I did not read but voted coz I love primitive thinking
It got confusing after the peg part but good article anyway.
lmao
!
vote Chutley!!!
I promise to continue to not visit the eUSA forums at all.
xInfinity
I would be honored to not vote for you!
"Chutley for no office!"
lol, V
Chutley for president! \o/
"I promise to continue to not visit the eUSA forums at all."
Funny, that's one of my campaign promises too!
You've got my non-vote.
FINALLY !
someone and something to believe in !
Thought left. Maybe only for a moment.
I wish I could go up not against you head to head.
Love it.
Chutley for PotUS!