People of the United Kingdom; your day of liberation is at hand!

Day 787, 11:22 • Published in United Kingdom Australia • by Aeros

People of the UK, last summer your political elites betrayed you and your good friends to Hungary and Indonesia. They transformed the United Kingdom into a puppet state that served no purpose except to harass your neighbors to whom you were once allied. Since that foul day, the United Kingdom has invaded the home territories of the United States, Canada, and Norway. You have also launched invasions upon territory controlled by Sweden, Spain and Poland. Your leaders of course accomplished nothing in these actions except to draw the enmity of these countries.

Dear citizens, your country is a cesspit of failure. The United States and Canada have more active RL citizens of the UK then the UK itself! Why you may ask? Because ever since you betrayed your friends last summer, the UK has embraced the fail of its inherent nature as a puppet. Even now your political elites continue to lick the Hungarian boot by triggering MPP’s in Norway, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. But your fail does not stop at Downing Street. You claim to have a “navy”, but the only boat we have seen a picture of (from your recruiting poster) is of the KMS Bismark (complete with swastikas). If your military cannot tell the difference between a Royal Navy Battleship and a Nazi Battleship, how on earth do you expect it to win a war?

We here in EDEN understand however, that the political elites of the UK do not equal the British public at large. We know for a fact that the British are a good and honorable people that do not want their country to suck. To that end, we your true friends in EDEN have decided to free the British people from their fail leadership. Under the wise and enlightened governance of the USA, Canada, Poland, Spain and Sweden, the UK shall at last throw off the shackles of failure that have made it a laughingstock. To mark this new era in eUK history, it has been decided that the UK will be administered from its new “capital to be” in Wales. As London shall no longer be the capital, we have decided to rename it “New Warsaw”. This is a much cooler name, and it reflects the cities true Real Life demographics anyhow.

Furthermore, we have decided that your present King Stephen is simply no longer fit to rule, as he is a crap comedian and completely unfunny. The man or woman that shall replace him will depend entirely on which country gets to administer the majority of your territory. So unless you want Poland to decide your new King, I suggest you urge your government retreat territory to the United States as quickly as possible. If the British Government truly has their citizens best interests at heart, they will realize King Stephen Colbert will be a much better King then what you have presently.


The new King of England; Much funnier than the present King Stephen

Admittedly, this glorious era has not yet officially started. Your Hungarian masters will not wish to let their puppet government fall. Supporters of the fail regime in New Warsaw will also attempt to stop EDEN’s liberation in its tracks. To that end I urge all true British Patriots to rise up against your political masters in Budapest and join with EDEN's liberating forces. It pains us greatly that we must resort to military force to free the British People, but it must be done. The fail is too greatly entrenched in your government, and only outside force can purge it. Once we are done however, I can assure you the eUK as it is now will be just a memory.