I Keep My Pimp Hand Strong...
Chocolate McSkittles
Well...let me go back and explain.
eRepublic touts itself as a game that allows players infinite avenues for gameplay.
We have seen giant banks and beggers alike try their hand at their respective fields.
Deciding that my resume (VP, DCoS, D-WC, DoCA) looks rather boring, I recently found an opportunity to spice up my resume.
It all started with me hanging in my Vice Presidential office. Fingerguns walked in and said
"Choc, I need a MAN!"
Actual screen-shot of my face at this moment in time.
My mind began to race the speed that Dan Wang races into a new thread, preparing a lovely acceptance speech to this great honor. Until I heard...
"And I want you to find him for me!"
Actual screen-shot of my face at this moment in time.
"I want you to be my Pimp!"
Now, as Vice President of these United States, I held a brief internal moral debate regarding whether it was acceptable to pursue a side hobby on my free time. However, as you may have noticed, Fingergun's used exclamation points on all three of her sentence fragments, clearly showing excitement.
I for one find it very hard to say no to a girl who's that excited to get started.
While some may say this new side hobby disgraces the office of the Vice President, I would counter-argue that the only disgrace here is that the office of the Vice President is already being disgraced by the fact that I do not wear the following attire to work:
It would be physically impossible for me to add a caption that increases the awesome of this picture
With that incentive in place, of course I accepted.
Not to say finding Fingerguns a "male" would be challenging. What could possibly be challenging about finding a "male" that would be interested in this
In a militia eh...feisty!
The eUSforums alone has a 12:1 male:female ratio, and I am pretty sure most of the people that sign up as "females" are actually Emerick.
But you see, Fingerguns isn't lookin for a boy.
Shes not lookin for a man either.
Shes looking for a MAN!
Acceptable
With this goal in mind, I have the gargantuan task of weeding out the boys from the men. To do so, a select few will be chosen to participate in an challenge at a future date, one that challenge the very fiber of every participants being.
Are you man enough for Fingerguns?
Sign up here to find out.
Chocolate McSkittles,
American Pimp
EDIT: Requested forum discussion here - http://eusforum.com/index.php/topic,23783.new.html#new
Comments
i don't want no scrubs.
xDDDD
A Zooey Deschanel avatar? What if it's Emerick?
I'm aroused and confused.
Government directed PTO, classy! You are worse than PHOENIX
Ajay, did Phoenix tell you that when you were begging them for voters?
Lol, I have no idea if this a joke or what.
I'm honestly amazed Pizza hasn't been banned yet like the rest of his accounts.
@FG
can't you see choc is the one for you???
lmfao lol tell me there's something about this in the forum
>A Zooey Deschanel avatar? What if it's Emerick?
Fingerguns uses purple text on IRC, clearly female.
> I'm aroused and confused.
So am I
> Lol, I have no idea if this a joke or what.
Theres a form, fill it in and find out 😛
i don't want no scrubs.
^
old skoooool. wow
Hey baby... AT FINGERGUNS NOT MCSKITTLES... O crap Mcskittles U know I love u... I MEANT FINGERGUNS...
A Zooey Deschanel avatar? What if it's Emerick?
Fingerguns uses purple text on IRC, clearly female.
Exactly. It could very well b emerick
Everything I wrote in my application was true.
Signed
So I clicked on the form, and then realized I will never have a chance with an eWoman. I am not familiar with the wangs/minute unit of measurement, my strength is only 13, I only have 89 subs, I have no money, and I haven't been relevant in this country in close to a year.
I'm p sure I am the opposite of what FG is looking for.
Also, I'm not that desperate.
Why would a guy be interested in Fingerguns?
😁 seriously?
very nice choc, voted! ... and they say american media is going down hill, pfft! whatta they know?!
effin lol
<333
Well, I read the article only to be disappointed at the insistence that it be a man. Psh, you don't need a man... Only a woman knows how to truly take care of another woman, mmhmm.
lol, I'll fill it out for the fun of it... I don't know the unit thing either. But, I am bored and it'll give me something to do. 😃
I have completed this indigenous form.
I can haz female PLZ?
eMarriage is for fgts
Break me off a piece of that
KIT-KAT-BAR!
Voted
Oh hello sexy lady
Giving up on me already, FG?
I like to play hard-to-get
I can't wait forever, Harlot.
>eMarriage is for fgts
You dont find a pimp to get married. You do it for a steamy fling.
lol ummmm voted lol
Stay strong brother - pimpin' ain't easy
Voted! tHIS IS TRUE STUUUUUFFF!!!
commenting to comment
I only like attractive women.
REMEMBER ME HONEY?
don't answer that.
you forgot the theme music choc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLS_HARAYZQ" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLS_HARAY[..]RAYZQ
Pathetically funny! lol
Voted though!
This is so epic article. Vote this shiz out.
This Article is Donkey Kong Approved.
I recommend a field of search other than the internet. Given said requirements of a MAN, rather than boys or generic men, I believe you may be wasting your time.
I filled out an application. Make the right decision.
Zoeey? We have a chance at Zoeey!?
Excellent, excellent article... haha
LOL, Choc. New title = The chief pimp of vice, the vice pimp chief, or the chief vice pimp. Fingerguns doesn't need a lot of pimping, so maybe The honorary vice pimp?
Vote + Subscribe + Signed = Damn great and funny article!